The Lynnster Zone

babbling since february 1997

Archive for the ‘knoxville’ Category

So Not a Professional Photographer, But Hey

Posted by Lynnster on August 5, 2008

So check this out… a few weeks ago I had some postage stamps made at PhotoStamps.com with this photo, which is one of several I took at Eagle Rock in the Great Smoky Mountains near Knoxville and Maryville about three years ago.

Today I was notified that it had been selected as a candidate for the PhotoStamps of the Year contest.  If it’s one of the three finalists for the month, then I get a framed commemorative sheet of the stamps, and then entered into the Grand Prize contest for the year.  If it wins, then it goes on exhibition at the Smithsonian National Postal Museum.  Neat, huh?

Posted in east tennessee, knoxville, my so-called life, the internet is... | 3 Comments »

Collectively Broken?

Posted by Lynnster on July 31, 2008

I know most of you probably read or heard about the church shooting in Knoxville this past Sunday. I’ve been trying to find the words to comment on it all week, but it’s really been difficult to put thoughts into words in this case.

Different people I have discussed it with have been most struck by different things about it. One was horrified that such a thing happened when children were on stage performing a play. Another has not been able to get the thought of the child who was covered in his mother’s blood out of her head. I was particularly disturbed by the irony that one of the victims wasn’t a member of the church, but of another church in the community, and had come to the church that day to see the kids’ play, and the fact that some of the other victims were visitors from out of town (I heard anyway).

And I guess one of the most disturbing things of all to many people is the fact that obviously you can’t even be sure you can feel safe in church anymore. Of all places.

I think of the church I grew up in – a small town church, but there are many big churches with large memberships in town and the town’s not all THAT small anyway – however, the church I grew up in was pretty small compared to most. Even with a full house, someone with a gun could have taken out the entire congregation and any visitors in a matter of minutes. That just makes my blood run cold and sends shivers down my spine.

As a kid, I spent literally hours in that church, and quite often by myself – with an adult on the grounds, yes, but not necessarily in the general vicinity where I was or even in the same building. But who wouldn’t have thought that wasn’t safe?

I also lived my entire life until I went off to college in houses that were never locked – not my home, not my grandparents’ – unless you went out of town on vacation, and maybe not even then, because it really didn’t matter. From around the second or third grade on, I walked home from school to a home that had been empty and unlocked all day long, and usually spent another two or three hours alone in the house until my parents got home from work. We didn’t lock our cars; we didn’t have to.

And nobody would have thought twice about the fact that I spent countless hours walking or bicycling around the neighborhood or all the way to downtown by myself, also from a pretty young age. Even when 8-year-old Cary Ann Medlin’s body was found raped and mutilated in the woods in a nearby town when I was 13 – a tragedy that Newscoma, my age and growing up in the next town over at the time, referred to the other day in her own thoughts about the Knoxville shootings – still I continued to hoof it around town by myself all the time, albeit with probably some stronger cautionary words about being careful and watching out for myself. Heck, at 13 years old, that was prime time for me walking downtown every week to spend my allowance at the music shop on records and that week’s issue of Rolling Stone.

But you really didn’t HAVE to worry about not being safe, not then, not there, and not even all that much even in the bigger cities. In 18 years, there was the Medlin case, there was the Marcia Trimble abduction and murder in Nashville that was such unusual and big news that, I guarantee you, every single native Tennesseean still alive that’s over the age of 40 not only remembers her name, but can probably tell you exactly what she looked like. Because stuff like that just didn’t happen, not as a rule.

And people in small towns didn’t go around killing each other. I recall one big nasty murder in the county when I was a child, and one when I was in high school. One was killed by someone who had previously worked for him, the other was shot and killed by a man he knew over some argument. Two – TWO – murders in two counties in 18 years.

And now there’ve been more murders than I can count in both those counties over the last ten, fifteen years – not every day, no, but far, far more than two in 18 years, and many of them seemingly arbitrary or random. Kids get abducted and sometimes wind up dead, and it’s still shocking, sure, but not like it once was. Another school shooting happens and you’re appropriately horrified, but no longer all that surprised.

And now people are walking into churches on Sunday mornings and shooting and killing people. If you can’t be sure you’re safe in school, or in church – where, then, can you feel safe?

Of course, now I live in a city where murders happen every week and I hear gunshots pretty much every day just about now, so I’m even more numbed and jaded by the constant influx of violence and crime. But that’s why the horrible things that keep happening back home – and even in Knoxville, which is not crime free, of course, but nowhere near the percentage Memphis is – that’s why these things bother me even more. Stuff happens here that’s not supposed to happen up there, or there.

Would the church shooting have been as shocking and people so horrified if it had happened in Memphis? Sure, of course it would have. But I don’t know that many would have been all that surprised, sad to say, especially the rest of our fellow Tennesseans. People from up yonder where I’m from, other than a very small handful, they don’t come to Memphis to shop or to see doctors or for entertainment like they used to. They go to Nashville instead, or even just to Jackson. It’s really pretty sad.

I am grateful that nobody I knew was at the church the other day in Knoxville, but plenty of folks I’m acquainted with did have friends or family that were there, and even one or two that are members that weren’t there that day. That doesn’t make it any less disturbing or sad.

And when I heard from someone in Knoxville about a comment someone they know made – someone who is a member of a large Baptist church in West Knoxville, and quite possibly the same one my future mother-in-law attends every Sunday – the comment being something along the lines of well, you know those people in that church practice witchcraft – I just felt sick.

My future mother-in-law – the Baptist churchgoer – used to be involved in programs that were held at the TVUU church weekly, and had just been telling me on the phone the day before what a nice church it was, and how lovely and wonderful all the people she knew there always had been. In fact, it turns out one of her other sons – one of my future brothers-in-law – used to be a member of that very church.  Maybe still is technically and still on their rolls, though he doesn’t really go anymore.

Witchcraft. I mean, please. Granted, it wasn’t the Baptists or the Methodists or the Presbyterians or a super well-known sect, and it wasn’t even the Catholics, who goodness knows have been accused of lots of whacked out things in thousands of years. But witchcraft? Don’t be stupid. Google before you go shooting off at the mouth. I mean, Wikipedia’s right there.

The ignorance in this country seems to be at an overall all-time high, and safety’s at a premium, obviously. If you can even say safety exists anymore, when you can’t be safe in church on Sunday.

People are having to choose between buying groceries and putting gas in their car, and at the same time, people are getting laid off from their jobs left and right, businesses are closing, and not too many that still have jobs are reporting that their salaries are going up along with the cost of everything else that’s going up.

When does it all end? Where does it stop?

There’s an election coming up, but is anybody who could really change things really going to do something about it all?

I wonder. Something’s got to give. When things break, you fix them. Are we, collectively, broken enough yet?

Posted in ancient history, blogfolks, east tennessee, in my head, knoxville, memphis, middle tennessee, nashville, outraged, politics schmolitics, simply horrified, specifically southern, tennessee in general, west tennessee | 3 Comments »

Meeting Old New Friends & Once Upon a Time

Posted by Lynnster on October 21, 2007

Woo!  I finally got the opportunity today to meet yet another person I’ve “known” online for somewhere around 13-15 years, another of the Hoodoo Gurus faithful (and ‘Mats fan, she’s a Replacements fan too) from way back when in the original early days of the congregation of fans around the world online.  Nese is from Texas and had trekked up here for the weekend for the big Webb Wilder shindig in Knoxville and was coming thru here on the way back, so I met her downtown at the Hard Rock on Beale Street and we had a fine afternoon lunching and visiting… and what awesome weather, couldn’t have picked a better day.  And naturally, she is awesome.  So woohoo!

I gotta say it was awfully weird hanging out downtown though.  Once upon a time I spent a significant amount of spare time in downtown Memphis, especially hanging around Beale and the riverfront on the nicer weekends, and the last several years I am almost never down there.  So much has changed… and I don’t know that I’d really say for the better.  To me it looks kind of just dressed up to look prettier.

My love-hate relationship with this town continues.  Strange, I don’t even really remember when I used to just love it, though I know once upon a time I did.

Posted in aussie music, friends are good, hoodoo gurus, knoxville, memphis, music, music junkie stuff, the replacements | 3 Comments »

How NOT To Blog While In Elected Office

Posted by Lynnster on February 26, 2007

Watching the ongoing trainwreck that is Stacey Campfield blogging himself out of elected office has been mildly interesting the last several weeks, to say the least. Especially for someone who generally has as little interest in politics as yours truly. I think a central focus in politics should be trying to sway moderate and apolitical opinion (such as my own) your way, not totally disgust and turn those folks off… but hey, that’s just my opinion.

I don’t “do” politics as a general rule. Anyone who knows me knows this to be true, and even though many of my friends are very into that sort of thing, they like me the way I am; I’m fine with what they’re into; it works out. I have just never been the sort to comment on and discuss much, online or off, political issues or anything remotely political – not on my blog nor much of anywhere else.

Before all his recent circus stunts, the ONLY reason I knew who Campfield was in the first place is because of a tacky and done in very poor taste, snarky and attention-grabbing stunt on his blog a while back, the resulting fallout of which led me to the conclusion that if you ask him the age-old question what color the sky is in his world, the answer is probably going to be fuschia or chartreuse, or some color no one in the whole entire world (not even the Department of Defense!) has ever heard of.

I’ll not bore you all with the story in its entirety, but I do think that if you’re an elected public servant, and you’re made aware that your blogging behavior leads a registered voter who really has little interest in politics (key words there) – and who also will likely be a resident of the general locale you represent (more key words) in the not-too-far-away future – to not only express disgust and horror over such behavior, but to state in no implicit terms that they (the registered voter) will now make a POINT (key word!) in the future of working for the other side in hopes of seeing you defeated in any future election endeavors…

Well, I’m just saying that maybe it’d be a good idea to step back and take a good hard look at and review one’s judgment, behavior, and actions, in such a case. Maybe even admit one used poor judgment and bad taste, but you know – whatever. Campfield’s pretty much exhibited a history of dropping bombs and then running away from them, not responding to the opinions and viewpoints he doesn’t like, sulking like a spoiled child or crying foul in the face of opposing or negative public opinion, and especially not apologizing when an apology is due (or way overdue), so I don’t expect much from him when I see he’s pulled another one of his stunts.

I think also, if I read correctly, that I’ve even been banned from posting further comments on his blog. I hope that’s true, at least that’s the way I read it.

Yes, me! Banned from commenting on someone else’s blog! Really!! Can you believe it? Isn’t that hilarious? Everyone that knows me in the online blogging community is seriously having a heart attack right now. (There’s probably a lesson to be learned there, too – I think it’s kinda like banning Shirley Temple as opposed to, oh, banning Charles Manson or Bin Laden or Hitler or something – but it’ll go over his head like most everything else.) I think it’s a kick, and I honestly couldn’t be happier about it, if it’s indeed true – that the only person Stacey Campfield has ever banned from commenting on his blog is a 5′2″, blonde, WASP as they come, totally apolitical chick who’s a product of some of the most conservative Republican families in West Tennessee, with more ties to the same in East Tennessee; who doesn’t even write about politics or social issues but writes about music and Jolly Ranchers and Sweet Tarts and cats and dogs! Is that not a total hoot?!?!?

I just think it’s a riot. Not to mention that Campfield himself may well have created a monster he’d rather not have due to his poor judgment, since suffice it to say I am becoming decidedly a little less apolitical and apathetic about such things as the Campfield Carnival goes on.

It’s kind of a shame, really. The initial issue Campy and I butted heads on could have well been put aside and in the past, if he’d done the right thing and admitted he’d probably made a mistake and an error in judgment, and we could have all moved on and I’d have forgotten about him soon enough. Even worse, dozens of other folks on both sides of the left and right were telling him, or commenting elsewhere in the community, the very same thing I did – he had done something that was in very poor taste for anyone to have done, and it just wasn’t cool. I initially relatively respectfully requested he do the right thing and remove it from his blog. I got snarky patented Campfield response in return and a refusal to do so, so you know, whatever. If you can’t be a man and own up to mistakes and poor judgment when, not only someone you don’t care to hear it from, but dozens of others in the community are saying the same – AND gotta get all snarky and sarcastic about it too? All bets are off and I don’t have to try to be tactful and attempt to politely request anymore. Be a gentleman or be a weasel; be a real elected official and respond to positive AND negative, rather than being a coward and editing and deleting and banning.

And it’s his blog, yep. But I think it’s probably his own worst enemy. I don’t think he understands that if he’d just said, “Nope, sorry,” then I probably would have just said, “Well, OK, sorry to hear that,” and moved on. It could have easily become a non-issue and mostly forgotten. It was everything ELSE he said in his response that was the problem… which I nowadays know is just par for the course with Campfield. He is a master at shooting himself in the foot; or, better yet when it comes to blogging, sticking his foot in his mouth. And the amazing thing is it’s like he goes out of way to stick his foot in his mouth when he really didn’t even have to go that far, time and time again! It’s just really and truly incredible.

Like I said – and I’m but one person and one instance out of what has probably been hundreds, maybe thousands, of really not-too-smart Campfield blogging and commenting and responding moves in the blogosphere – blogging and commenting his way right out of elected office, it seems. It’s kind of surreal, really.

So here’s a point – it’s those of us who don’t really give much of a flying you-know-what for the most part about politics that those in elected public service should probably be most concerned with. Bad judgment and poor behavior will likely not only send us voting on the other side, but if you act out bad enough and display poor enough taste that even the politically interested folks in your own community on BOTH sides of the liberal/conservative divide are saying what you did wasn’t cool – and then, us non-political folk not only making a point to vote against you now and in the future, but making a point of pledging to work to see you defeated from here on out? That’s just probably not a real great thing. No politician in his or her right mind would want their name attached to situations like that.

To illustrate even further just how much Campfield’s blogging behavior is akin to shooting himself in the foot time and time again: I may be personally rather apolitical myself but, again, I come from two West Tennessee families that have in the past been extremely active and supportive in the Republican party, have ties to a third such family in East Tennessee, AND my former longtime boss, whose family is like my own, is still currently very active in conservative Republican circles in Shelby County as are other members of that family. Certainly the name Stacey Campfield is going to get circulated among those circles… but likely not in the way he would probably hope.

Word of mouth can be the most fabulous publicity, but it can also be very dangerous publicity that can work against you. What you say, how you conduct yourself, and ESPECIALLY how you respond to others is SO important if you want to be a successful elected public official. I’m a private citizen with no public service aspirations, I can pretty much say what I want and do as I please on my blog and in dealing with other bloggers. But if I wasn’t? Whole other story.

Using good judgment in what he posts and how he responds to others is not Campfield’s forte, and he rather habitually offends probably the worst possible people to be offending, especially if he has political aspirations higher than the level where he is now. Like thousands of State of Tennessee employees. Or another blogger who, albeit unbeknownst to him at the time initially, has ties to some of the most influential members of his own party, not only statewide but in his own locale.

There’s where he makes mistakes. As a public official who has chosen to blog amongst that same public, every word and every response should be chosen more carefully, because to do otherwise, you know not who you might offend. Every poster and every respondent – unless they have made it clear they’re absolutely against you and on the other side – should be treated as a potential vote; or at least a potential person who might have ties to someone or someones you absolutely do not want to piss off, basically. To do otherwise and just keep jumping in feet first with your responses and blindly spouting off (or so very obviously avoiding responding to current discussions) without a thought of who might be on the other side of the monitor reading – that’s just dumb. And could be political suicide.

Even though I had no clue who he was prior to December 2006, I’ve read enough and talked with enough folks to know he’s a grandstander, specializing in stunt legislation, basically. It’s like he’s continually jumping up and down trying to get the attention on himself and the spotlight shined his way with all kinds of crazy ridiculous stunts that just wind up clogging the Tennessee state government works, and it just makes you want to say, “Sit down, Junior, you’ll get your spotlight one of these days likely when you do something to deserve it and don’t try to FORCE it on you.” Except I think all his grandstanding (and certainly his blogging) will send him out of office in due time, so the likelihood of that happening in the future seems kinda slim.

Ah, but the Campy carnival just keeps rolling along.

I slept for 15 hours on Saturday because I was exhausted and had a humongous headache, and woke up with an even bigger headache. After popping a couple of Tylenol and willing myself for another hour to either get better or die, I finally got around to blog- and feed-reading for the day to see what all I’d missed during my self-induced coma.

There was this, and then there was this real mess (my most recent response to Campfield being around the 3:51 a.m. 2/26 mark, unless Frank chooses to delete it). Which that whole comment thread was curious (on Sunday afternoon anyway), if for no other reason the lack of participation by the blog author and the multiple (read: constant and repeated) instances of I’m-blogging-and-commenting-my-way-right-out-of-public-office by “The Rep“.

This same “public servant” purposely started a firestorm a couple of weeks ago here, which bled over to here and resulted in the longest thread in NIT history, and failed to respond to any of it in a manner befitting an elected public official; in fact, his only direct response was a snarky “:)” emoticon posted in the milieu of discussion on NIT that afternoon. He also has not, to date and to my knowledge, issued a very necessary apology to another blogger towards whom Campfield made veiled threats against their job, simply because that blogger disagreed with the Campfield point of view. In the course of the blogging firestorm he laid in place and then basically ran and hid from and refused to respond further to, he actually had the chutzpah to state that a state employee doesn’t have a “real job”. I’m sure this is a viewpoint all of the thousands of State of Tennessee employees are going to be interested in hearing. Since I have a parent who is a longtime employee in state education of relatively high rank and since I was once a UT employee myself, I sure was interested in that statement. I think it might be my mission this year to see that every Tennessee state employee finds out who Stacey Campfield is and what he thinks of their jobs. Although I will say that a (now very overdue) apology from Campfield to the person who deserves it might make me change my mind.

Maybe. I don’t know, seems to me like the thousands of State of Tennessee employees there are should be aware of snarky insults that someone who is an elected state official made about their state jobs. Not to mention the fact that as an elected state representative… doesn’t that make The Rep himself a state employee? At least part-time?

In any case, I have pretty much said as much that without that overdue apology to the blogger he threatened, I will do what I can to make certain all Tennessee state employees learn who Stacey Campfield is as well as what he thinks of their jobs, not to mention seeing that every registered Republican I know that I’m related to, almost related to, will eventually be related to, or might as well be related to – and there’s a lot of them, and in East Tennessee as well as West! – gets the 411 on Stacey Campfield… what damage hasn’t already been done anyway.

But the thing is, really, I don’t really think I have to do anything anyway. Dude’s already well on the way to blogging himself out of office; past it, in fact, it would appear. Somebody close to him that cares shoulda taken the blogging steering wheel out of his hands a while ago, ‘cos he’s just driving himself right on off the cliff right back into the private sector, at least that’s how it looks from here. And from the looks of probably several hundred other blogs (not to mention other modes of information), I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one that thinks so.

Even before all that melee with his purposely set firestorms and state employee insulting began, though, there was the matter of his recently posted “rules for comments” on his blog, which is further incredibly laughable. Look, if one can’t take any heat – i.e., if one only wants to hear what they want to hear, and not ALL feedback – then one should get out of the elected public servant kitchen, because one is NOT serving the public.

And one should probably get out of the blogging kitchen too… which is really what this all comes down to.

What Stacey Campfield should probably do:

  1. Hire a good publicist who is neutral and doesn’t have any real partisan leanings in any direction.
  2. Listen to that publicist when told to stop “traditional blogging” because it’s turning into his own political suicide.
  3. Put up a website of his own that is not a blog and write all he wants about whatever without the necessity of (or the expectation that he will be) interacting with the public, as would be with traditional blogging. Because man, he’s just bad at it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Or do none of the above and just keep blogging himself right out of elected office. That’s okay with me. I kind of find it an interesting trainwreck to witness.

Am I picking on Stacey Campfield? Maybe, probably. Didn’t really care to post like this until recently.

And the truth is, this post in particular could well have been avoided. Stacey Campfield knows I think he owes two people a very big, and very sincere apology, and that there’s something on his blog akin to little better than sensational tabloid journalism that has no business being there if one claims to be an upright and decent gentleman and human being, or is not a judge in a court of law. Frankly, I’d settle for the most recently necessitated single apology, but I have some doubts that it’s ever gonna happen. Most of the rest of us live in a world where there’s a right thing to do and a wrong thing to do, and Stacey Campfield just doesn’t seem to live in that world or truly understand either.

I should probably state, too, in light of the more recent discussions – I really don’t have any quarrel with, or very strong opinion at this time, on Terry Frank, and I say that because I just have not read enough to form any big strong opinion. But just from reading recent comments over there, as with his own self sticking in his foot in his mouth time and again, I will say that Stacey Campfield’s rather overtly large presence in her current situation and his comments and responses and postings look to me to be hurting her case much more than they are any help.

So, can I just remind everybody one more time? I DON’T DO POLITICS. Nor do I profess to be a writer about much of anything except music, hard and sour candy, BBQ, ex-boyfriends, dogs & cats, and a few other nonessential, totally mediocre subjects that really probably aren’t important to anyone but myself and maybe a handful of others, many of whom have known me for over half my life. I didn’t start a blog ten years ago to make important social statements; I started a blog so I wouldn’t have to e-mail forty or fifty or sixty people the same thing over and over again about whatever was going on with me on any given day.

If I’m not to be taken seriously because I usually write about music and goofy stuff, hey, that’s your call. I’d have to guess, though, that most people that read the more politically-related blogs already have their minds made up to begin with. It’s the people that don’t read political and social issue-related blogs that might not have their minds made up, though, the kind of folks who might read blogs like mine. Something to think about, right?

And it’s wild and ironic, too, that I am even in a position where I can even influence some pretty hardcore serious Republican and conservative registered Tennessee voters, as well as others, against Campfield’s cause simply because of who I happen to be related to or have other ties to. But that just goes to kinda show you that one should look before they leap, think before they speak, and be careful of jumping into potentially hot and sticky pots feet first. There’s a lesson to be learned there, but I’m pretty sure such things go over Campfield’s head as most things seem to.

Anyway, I know my more politically-minded and interested friends are just overjoyed right now that I’m even the least bit interested in writing about such things. This is all insanely ironic and crazy and I can’t believe I’m even writing about some fruit loop politician.

But – it’s important. Because I’m usually mostly uninterested, and probably so are some of you, too. Or, like me, you’re one of those that politicians and their people usually don’t try very hard to reach – when really we’re the ones they should be trying hardest to reach. Or at least certainly not offending, and/or making themselves look ridiculous, right off the bat.

So as long as you have read this – whoever you are and whatever your opinion is, and even if you’re not in Tennessee – if you’ve read this and will remember the name Stacey Campfield now and in the future? I’ve done most of what needed to be done already. The rest is up to y’all.

So, Campfield supporters, go forth and multiply… well, if you can. The rest of y’all – you know what to do (or not to do).

Time will tell if I’m right or not, but I really do sincerely believe Stacey Campfield is blogging himself right smack out of public office. I guess we’ll see, and there’s also probably a really good reason other legislators don’t do such as he does. (Among other things, they probably have publicity people that very smartly tell them NOT to.)

But whether or not he indeed does blog himself out of office, the carnival/slash/freak show is still something to see. Pass the popcorn, I got a trainwreck to watch.

.

Postscript: For more reading on the Carnival That Is Stacey Campfield’s Career and his multitude of grandstanding stunt legislation attempts, I found this yesterday while reading around the tubes. It’s wonderful, hilarious (though you almost really wish it wasn’t since, after all, he IS supposed to be an elected representative in the state in which I have lived my entire life, sigh) – AND there’s lots of excellent back past links as well. Enjoy!

Posted in blogfolks, blogstuff, east tennessee, knoxville, nashville is talking, politics schmolitics | 16 Comments »

Clueless Doesn’t Even Begin to Scratch the Surface

Posted by Lynnster on February 16, 2007

My response to an e-mail a little while ago:

“You know what? I haven’t got a(n) f’ing clue what Nashville Is Talking about today other than one thing, because I haven’t been anywhere else all day!”

And I always thought political stuff was boring. Go figure.

Posted in blogfolks, east tennessee, knoxville, nashville is talking, politics schmolitics | 7 Comments »

When the Workday is Over

Posted by Lynnster on May 3, 2006

This is beginning to feel like not only the work DAY, but the work WEEK that is never going to be over.

No sleep last night although I did grab what passed for a nap right before starting work this morning. I kind of ran into a snag last night – two snags, actually – and didn’t start on that freelance job as early as I should have (surprise, surprise) and it took longer than I’d hoped (surprise, surprise again), so I’m pretty exhausted once again. One of these days I will learn to just go ahead and do it and not take a break between my regular job’s end and starting on the freelance stuff ‘cos this just always happens, but I always have good intentions of doing better. Not that I would have necessarily gone to sleep any earlier, but I’d have gotten more than a half hour’s worth for sure.

Then, when it rains, it pours. Got called for more freelance tonight, due tomorrow, after already having turned in a request for more with the other place – thankfully not due until Friday, and Thursday is my day off. This one for tonight is short (if one can call three hours’ worth of work short) so with any luck, I get that done, have time to goof off, get to sleep in tomorrow, and have plenty of time to get the other job done (if I don’t goof off tomorrow procrastinating and thinking I’ve got plenty of time). I wish to god I could talk about what one of these I got today is about, but I can’t, of course, due to confidentiality mumbo jumbo. Let’s just say it’s going to be a fun and interesting change of pace this week, VERY different and unusual for the norm!!

Anyway, I’m sort of getting a little scattered about having so much on my plate and no sleep, but I really need to just chill seeing as how I did practically NO extra work last week since I flew to Houston and back, and very little the week before, and I really need to and should have the weekend free after all this. Sometimes I try to manage things where I don’t have to do any freelance work on my regular Thursday day off too, but that usually doesn’t work out, I usually wind up with something that’s due on Friday morning.

Josie and I were kinda tossing around the idea this morning about her coming down, and us and Stevie Kane going to Musicfest this weekend – that’s this weekend, right? I am so out of it this week – but they are having about as exhausting a week as I am and I think us old folks are probably going to just say no…

Well, since I’m never hungry and never eat, I thought today maybe I’d just make a habit of blogging during my lunch break and that way I get into a mostly daily habit again, hassle-free. Which is what I’m doing today, but you know that kinda junk is always subject to change with moi.

And actually I AM hungry today, kinda, but what’s worse is I’m craving Pancho’s and not enough time nor energy to do it. I really miss the Pancho’s that was on Union. They tore it down a few years ago and built a Starbucks there on the corner of Union and McLean. My aunt used to take me there every time I came down to Memphis when I was a kid and teenager. Then, years and years ago in the early days of living here, the ex and I used to go there at least once a week – at least until Cafe Ole’ opened, and then we were at Pancho’s once a week and Cafe O once a week. In fact, we were there at Pancho’s so much that for a while we had our own waiter, a longtime employee who got to know us well and would show up with chips and dip and salsa (multiple bowls, and the dip heated up after they stopped doing that regularly) at our table within seconds of our arrival. When he quit and went to work somewhere else, his roommate, who had started working as a waiter there and got to know us too, took over the routine. And Julie and I used to go there with Bayleigh, who is now grown with a child of her own, who then was a little bitty tiny baby, sitting in the high chair snacking on Cheerios. Where does the time go?

Anyway, yep, craving Mexican food but probably should be too tired and busy tonight to do anything about it and by then I might not be hungry anymore anyway. The only Pancho’s left is across town and yuck, the drive. Let’s not talk about the fact that I have not had ribs in FOREVER. About to die to go to Corky’s or downtown to the Rendezvous. Sure am glad they both have websites and you can order them shipped ‘cos Todd Steed tells me there’s no good BBQ in Knoxville and you can bet I will be ordering on occasion once I’m moved eastward.

Jo asked me what else there was to do around here anymore besides potentially going to the Beale Street festival this weekend, and I said heck, I don’t know, beats me. She said, “YOU don’t KNOW?” (Just like that.) I said, look, I work 60 to 90 hours a week and I spend most days talking to dogs all day long, what do I know. Not being negative, just saying…

And with that, I bid you adieu ’til I get two seconds to breathe again…

Posted in BBQ, blah, friends are good, fun with food, knoxville, memphis, memphis music, music, the ex files, west end boys & girls | Leave a Comment »

17, 18, 19, 21!

Posted by Lynnster on May 2, 2006

Just random stuff for an about-to-be-rainy Tuesday afternoon in Memphis…

Where do I keep hiding stuff from myself? Recently I lost the really good, really fast battery recharger (as opposed to the not that great, really slow one which I know exactly where it is), just completely misplaced it, one of those things I always put back up in the same place every time but obviously not this time. It was like it just vanished into thin air, no clue where I laid it down, can’t find it anywhere. Really pissed about it too because it worked so wonderfully and fast compared to this other lousy one.

Then this morning I notice I’m about to run out of 39 cent stamps. Now I KNOW good and well there are rolls upon rolls of old 34 cent stamps, probably 33 and 32 cent, who knows what else, in this house. I THOUGHT I knew exactly which drawer they were in. Apparently not, apparently I either used them up and forgot, or they’re there and I’ll find them tonight in which case I’ll be really annoyed, or they’re just not there. I give up.

I’m SO over working today. Unfortunately three more hours to go.

Didn’t get much sleep last night AND didn’t get three-fourths of the stuff I intended to do last night done. Probably because I stayed up too late and too long ripping FOUR THOUSAND MILLION MP3’s for what I’m hoping will be a worthwhile big major project. Not financially, not profitable, just a labor of love as they say…

Tonight will hopefully be a little earlier to bed than usual (like maybe, oh, 2 a.m.) and maybe something decent to have for dinner. I hardly ever eat anymore and I forget (like now) when I last did most of the time and the majority of time I’m just not hungry. I think I might have eaten something Sunday night but I’m not sure. I know that’s not really good for you, but I’m just not hungry most of the time, and an overwhelming majority of stuff I have always liked, I have been progressively losing any appetite for. Down to what amounts to a very small list of things I’m still happy eating. This is nothing new, been like this for months and months really. Don’t worry, I’m probably skinnier than I’ve been in 15 years but I’m not, like, bones or anything. And my hair’s gotten longer than ever and is not falling out from malnutrition or anything so I think I’m probably OK, I’m just plain not hungry, ever.

However, I am a little bit this afternoon so I think if this day EVER gets over with, it might be a night for some good major takeout from somewhere, just haven’t decided where yet. Nope, I don’t cook (I CAN, I just don’t), I don’t clean, I’m pretty much useless when it comes to domestic crap. Hey man, I got better things to do!! Giggle…

So here’s something I’m excited about, Jennifer Finch’s band The Shocker’s new full-length CD comes out on the 15th in the U.S. Jennifer, as many will know, used to be in L7 and I really dig The Shocker’s stuff, they do a really cool cover of “Body Count” (which, as you can see via my Audioscrobbler/LastFM report if you’re reading today on Tuesday, I was listening to the original last night). Yeah, I have kinda developed a bit of a headbanging thing in recent years, probably mainly because we have been lacking in decent radio stations around here for a while and the last several years I’ve been listening to a bit heavier alt-rock stuff on the radio as well as heavier in general. But I always liked L7 a bunch anyway. Anyhoo, you can check out some of the new tracks on The Shocker’s MySpace page or on The Shocker’s website. Pretty cool stuff, especially “Body Count”, woohoo.

On one sorta related note and another totally unrelated note, my last two CD purchases have also been excellentamundo and both Knoxville bands – the new one from Southern white trash rock boys The Dirty Works, Biscuits & Liquor, and the latest CD from the absolutely marvelous Tim Lee, Concrete Dog, which is just terrific and I’ve played it about a million times already. You can also listen to some of the tracks on Tim’s MySpace page.

Looks like I might be heading to NYC in August or September for some something I still don’t really know what it is, but my friend Michelle, who is moving back home to Brooklyn from Florida, says I and our other friends need to come up for it. Haven’t been up there since the summer of 1997 so that should be kinda cool if it all pans out.

Oh well, back to work… happy rainy and tired Tuesday!

Posted in * top general babble, about the weather, blah, in my head, knoxville, knoxville music, music, music junkie stuff, random stuff, travelin' | Leave a Comment »

It’s Been a Long, Long Time

Posted by Lynnster on March 8, 2005

Here’s what happened: I got this e-mail the other day, which I still haven’t responded to (because I am just as pathetic as ever about answering e-mail unless you’re my mother or my future mother-in-law in which case you’re probably going to wait a day or maybe two but not much longer since I am lazy but not stupid) asking if the site had died and/or was ever going to get updated, to which I almost replied “Yes” and “Maybe”, but then it occurred to me that that’s a pretty snippy and sarcastic response to some poor soul who’s not had the misfortune (but you LOVED it) of direct exposure to my smart mouth so I thought I’d just shut up and be nice and respond later when I was feeling a bit less KC-ish and just quietly update for now and pretend I wasn’t about to be unnecessarily rude to someone. Yep, I’m afraid in lieu of being haunted (which he always swore he would do, nyah nyah didn’t work) I am instead apparently doomed to channel the only person I’ve ever known that’s a bigger smartass then me at some of the most inappropriate times.

AND I also have become a really big fan of a few web writers (I’m sorry, the words blog and blogger are just like trying to pull teeth without anesthetic for me so I guess I really am old and grumpy now) and I was really wanting to drop ‘em a couple of lines but I was too embarrassed at how pathetic I have been updating here so, you know, I’m attempting to save face and not embarrass myself totally. Although I suppose I should be disturbed that I have kept this on AOL for this long but you know what – I am paying PENNIES for FREAKING TONS of web storage and I have never once had to be preoccupied with the word BANDWITH, not EVER – so, you know, I don’t really care. There’s better ways I reckon but after having dealt with these files on here and all the major renovations and whatnot for getting pretty danged close to ten years now the thought of moving them is as tiring and trauma-inspiring as the thought of moving me after 17 years in the same place… and more on that shortly (heh)…

AND I also killed another computer (of course) in the interim since I was last here and my files are all being held hostage on the old hard drive and I haven’t retrieved them yet, but once I resolved my technical issues with AOL (it was the freakin’ stupidest thing in the world and I can’t believe it took me four years to figure out what was wrong and was by far worse than the 18 hours straight I spent one weekend trying to repair a sick 486 only to find the drive cables were hooked up wrong, tho I swear I checked them a few dozen times and which was my previously most stupid computer geekette f-up in the world ever)… so there was that…

AND Paul Westerberg is on tour again which doesn’t mean a whole lot here since I’m not updating that page tonight anyway but he’s ACTUALLY COMING TO MEMPHIS THIS TIME and I have no one – N-O O-N-E – that can go with me so I just felt like bitching about that.

So anyway I figure there are maybe 4.5, maybe 6.5, people in the world who will show up here eventually and mutter a shocked expletive or two or three under their breath (something along the lines of “daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayum…” – and yeah, if you’re from down here it’s pronounced pretty much just like that) at the fact that I have actually updated after two years of silence. Heck, I don’t even know why I’m here updating when I’m just about dead exhausted, other than the above and the fact that I have extreme stress-induced insomnia at the moment and am sitting here typing, seeing as how I’ve run out of names and other stuff to Google and useless junk to look at and all the other dumb things I have a habit of doing when I’m bored, when I really should be in bed. But, all in all, that’s beside the point. Plus anyone that knows me at all knows I don’t go to bed at a decent hour ever anyway. Nope, some things never change.

But truthfully and seriously… even tho this Graffiti stuff started as an experiment (of some sort, what I couldn’t say) and I really could have cared less who read it or didn’t at the time (eight freakin’ longass years ago)… when I lost my biggest fan (and foe) and his sidekick I kinda lost most of the urge to purge my brain of all thought, intelligent and otherwise, publicly. I dunno, after a while as years progressed here on the Wall, there got to be this cycle where I’d upload a new update, there’d be some smartass (or sometimes downright nasty, or sometimes just a great big laugh) comment in my mailbox the next morning, I just got used to it. Call-and-response, or what have you. So the last couple of times I updated, now lo all those two years ago almost, when I knew that response wasn’t coming ever – I really just kinda started feeling hateful about the whole Graffiti thing. Plus I got busy – real busy – and stayed busy. Busy enough most of the time that now I could use about a dozen clones of me, instead of just the one I was begging for previously…

Then lately – here’s the rub – I’ve been finding myself, when I do have a little spare time – or I’m eating dinner or something, which this is really kind of pathetic but now instead of flipping on the TV while dining, when I do manage to eat which is almost never, I’m liable to go catch up on my reading at Reality News Online (Ken Kellam and Phil Kural ROCK!!) or some such instead or something (since I continue to be a reality TV addict but have become much much much more choosy about what I get into these days) – anyway, I’ve gotten to where there are several personal websites I’ve become fascinated with and read daily. Again as per above – I know, I know, these days they’re called blogs, and now that blog has actually been officially recognized as both a noun (as in, this is my blog) and a verb (as in, to blog), I should be saying that what I’m doing is blogging rather than the ancient dinosaurish updating my Graffiti Wall because the latter now sounds so old-fashioned – but give me a break, I’ve been doing this for eight years now so, yes, in the world of personal weblogs I suppose that makes me old-fashioned. I am old and I’m grumpy, leave me alone.

So anyway, I am highly addicted to reading up on a few, like that of former Real World-Miami cast member Dan Renzi (who was hilarious back then on MTV and is even more hilarious on a daily basis now – I adore this guy), whose blog in turn introduced me to one belonging to this cool chick named Brittney, which at first grabbed me because of the Sparkwood & 21 reference and then when I realized where she is, I find myself somewhat reliving my own disaffected pissed-off youth of my twenties in downtown freakin’ Nashville through her misadventures, which seem to be at least somewhat less debauched and deranged than my own were. Well, unless all her friends turn out to be strung out drugged-up musicians hanging naked off balconies in West End at 4 in the morning and sleeping twelve to a one-bedroom flat. In which case I’d be worried that she is actually my doppelganger walking around the N-town, just 15-20 years younger… it’s already kind of scary that she’s from a small town and obviously dearly loves Twin Peaks. However, she’s not a blonde so probably not, just maybe walking in my ghost’s footsteps from time to time. If it’s true that parts of our spirits sometimes get left behind in places where there was extreme trauma and/or emotion, I’m sure the ghost of 20-21 year old me continues to walk around Elliston Place, pissed off about one thing or another as usual… anyway, I should probably drop her a note or something but then she’d probably think I’m some crazy almost-middle-aged woman obsessed with lost Nashville youth for some strange incomprehensible reason and she’d be right, so I won’t. Ah, the City Without A Subway. Wish for the thousandth time I’d never left.

By the way, I actually had to go up there a couple of weeks ago for a family funeral and that was the first time in a long time I’d really driven right in and around town, not just passing thru, and that was pretty freakin’ weird. I can’t tell you exactly what was so weird because I have given up incriminating myself over past misdeeds for Lent this year, but for those that care driving south on Nolensville Road was not fun and my old route to work down Harding Place was no less sad than it ever was.

Anyway, so back to people that keep their websites updated… then there’s my other new favorite, dooce, run by an expatriate Memphian (well, Bartlett anyway – Bartlettian? Bartlettonian? What exactly do people from Bartlett call themselves anyway?) named Heather who is also somewhat younger than me and is such a fabulous writer I am in tears of laughter and joy and shrieking daily. It’s a total hoot and I luv her daily photos. And her dog looks suspiciously like he might be a relative of Dobie, but I don’t think she got him in Memphis so I guess not…

Well, so anyhow, I got to reading other people’s stuff on a regular basis and kept thinking about this here Graffiti Wall and finally just gave in and came back. Lucky you, huh? You know you missed me…

But really the really disturbing thing tho, now that I’m here, is there is just not THAT much new to report. Oh, I’m sure if I think real hard for a while (which I can’t right now, I’m too tired and too delirious) there are some dormant rants just waiting to be let out and maybe I’ll get to some of that soon, but really, as far as what’s new since 2003… well, not much.

But I guess there is some… for one thing, I have a new job, for the first time in 14 years. It was kind of a have-to situation – no, I didn’t get fired – my boss more or less retired to do something else so I had to by default. I had three months’ notice almost, but the job market was so crappy down here at the time that by the time those three months rolled around, I still didn’t have a new job to go to – but I had two interviews the day after my last day. I stayed unemployed for almost a week this past summer (which of course threw me into a state of near-panic), but by the next week I had two job offers and that was weird – that was the first time in my life I have EVER turned down a job! And, of course, took the other one… still in healthcare but somewhat of a different position than I have ever worked before, and much lower key, less responsibility. Frankly I was ready for it as I was verging close to burnout in the field and, well, sick of dealing with people, patients, doctors, insurance companies, co-workers, etc., about to go postal and all that cheery stuff – so this felt like a good move (and I was right). Lower pay, but only because I had gotten a raise in January of last year – my salary at my new job is the same as it was before I got the raise, so no big deal and frankly – because of this next part – I could have really cared less if it was even less…

Now, here’s the part where you start to hate me (it’s OK, everyone does, even my mother and isn’t there a law against hating your own child, especially when it’s your only one?!?!?)… because… I work at home! Hahahaha! Oh yeah, baby, make noooo mistake – I LOVE IT!!!! I get up in the morning, I take the dogs out, I fix my coffee, I sit down and go to work. Sometimes I even work in my pajamas. It’s really awesome, I love my job and I love the people I work with, and I am spoiled forevermore about traditional jobs, I will never want to have to “go into” work again anywhere ever. The good thing is I can probably stay at this job indefinitely no matter where I may go, since 99.99% of it is over the Internet anyway. And, though I do work a set schedule and have to be online working when I’m scheduled… as far as extra and overtime I can work anytime of the day or night, naturally. I just love it. Very very happy with this. Best decision I ever made and I totally lucked into it coming up when it did.

There are some strange unexpected things about working at home, though. Like, for instance, I find that most days at the end of the day working I feel like I need a shower again… but that’s mostly because I have four almost 10-month old puppies at home that are constantly rolling around in the dirt and mud outside (often dragging each other by the tail thru the mud) and they are usually getting their muddy paws on me during our outside breaks. But that’s been a nice perk – we can have our little outside breaks through the day, which has been a godsend with young ones around again (more about that later). I also actually, even though I work only four days a week (I work 10 1/2 hour shifts), feel like I have even LESS spare time than I did when I worked five days a week, which seems strange. But it’s still really killer to have that third day off every week – would be nicer if it was a Monday or Friday so I could stretch out the weekend a bit, but maybe someday, for now I’m just happy to have what I have. Since I interact with my boss and co-workers mostly via e-mail and the occasional phone call, and the boyfriend is currently residing about 450 miles southeast of here, I sometimes spend days on end where I don’t speak to any living soul in person other than canines and felines, but that’s OK, I kind of like it that way. Were KC here, he would be torn between deeming me regressed into total and complete social retardation and being beside himself with glee that I was now available at his EVERY beck and call and whim 24/7 and he and Greg and I would be on 10.5 hour IM all day every work day. It would have been fun, now it’s just sad, but that’s okay now.

Anyway, that’s some of the biggest news since March 2003 when I was last here… other than that, what else have I been up to, oh, I don’t know, just things. I still work a part-time job I always have had (always worked at home there but that was just “extra” work) which is getting harder and harder to keep up with lately but I’m managing. And I have the equivalent of another full-time job because I am one of three senior administrators of a rather large (almost 40K members) international website that I have been involved with for a couple of years now… not really at liberty to say what or where but it’s about a cause that’s been pretty near & dear to my heart for some time now. I guess that’s probably another reason I haven’t been here messing with the personal site for a while… I get most of my techgeekchick urges out there, playing around in the back end techie stuff on the site. From a techie aspect, it’s really awesome, man… 14-15 years ago when I was running my little BBS in Memphis, I never dreamed there would one day be the kind of stuff like the software we use on site now. I get to playing around with the buttons and switches just to see what stuff will do. And haven’t crashed it yet… I don’t think it’s really crashable unless you have direct access to the server tho (which I don’t – yet) and the server’s located in Texas, soooo… I might be a little more careful flipping switches when I have server access, heh. Anyway… as far as my work with the site, it’s not that I’m not proud of what we’ve done – I’m very much so – but that leads to some personal issues that in this day and age are best not publicly divulged, at least not at this point in time. I’ll just say that I spend the majority of my spare time pouring effort into this cause and we have already seen many, many positive changes and improvements just in the little over two years I have been involved in it, and it’s nice to be able to witness direct results of something you have worked hard towards and given so much effort like that. Plus – we have annual conferences/conventions/what have you! Last year was spent in sunny Florida, this year headed to San Francisco (I hope, still not positive I’m going to be able to go) – I visited SF when I was 14 and have been wanting to go back as an adult ever since so I am really, really looking forward to it and hoping the trip will pan out for me. (UPDATE – since I originally started writing this a while back the conference has been cancelled so no SF for me, not this year anyway.) Anyway, what an awesome thing and force in my life this has been… and having now met most of my colleagues in person and many have become friends for life… including my adorable French friend who would just give me his car – his car!!! – if he could ship it over here to me because my current one is so old and pathetic (apparently one doesn’t have much use for an automobile in Paris, but I would certainly make use of it going to Paris, Tennessee, hahaha…). Damn shame too ‘cos it’s one of those funky little bitty European cars with some kind of animal name like Panther or something. Shoot. Free car and I can’t even get it… which is, as usual, my luck…

For a long time I was out of town more often than not, though not so much anymore… part of that in recent months anyway has been because of the influx of very young canines, as previously mentioned, tho they have finally gotten old enough I can leave them overnight once in a while thank goodness. I have lost some and gained some in the past year… my beloved 11 year old lap dog of a Doberman, Baby, finally left us last fall after having spent a year of her health deteriorating and having gone blind the year before as well. Less than a month later, a black Lab mix I had wound up with – and not unlike how I wound up with Baby who begat Dobie, because the neighbors really couldn’t keep them and unbeknownst to me at the time she moved in with me Baby was pregnant with Dobie – so too was Satin, who was a very young thing who’d become my buddy after moving in next door. She had gotten lost for a couple of weeks and I had told her owners if she showed up, she could stay here – they’d been having trouble with her indoors and outdoors and she had been practically living over here with us anyway. Well, on her little two week “vacation”, she got knocked up, which I found out for sure several weeks later, and on Memorial Day weekend last year gave birth to five pups – none of whom looked anything like her. They were about the biggest newborn puppies I’d ever seen – and, they were (another very unexpected surprise) white with black spots, except for one. Tho the white with black spots would lead one to think “Dalmatian” – nope, that wasn’t it. I wasn’t supposed to keep any of them, then everyone who was going to take one but one wound up backing out at one time or another – so now, ten months later, I have four young dogs who do not look like Labs and I have NO clue what their paternal parentage could have possibly been. They don’t even look alike, other than the white with black (and two with brown) markings. In short, their paternal parentage has been about as clear as Dobie’s ever was (though I have some better guesses about him these days at least). But they’re all adorable, especially my one little perfect girl (the only girl) who when her intended home backed out I knew wasn’t going anywhere. It’s like living in a nursery school 24/7 – and I was NOT intending to ever acquire more dogs, ever – but you know, things happen. Their mama, however, unexpectedly passed away less than a month after Miss Baby, an acute onset of what I could only figure out must have been hemorrhagic gastroenteritis and which happened so fast she was gone before there was time to do anything, which I hated not only because she was a really good dog, but she had been only a baby herself, just 15 months old. So now I only have Dobie, who just turned 10 (!!!!!), and my great big fat huge Beagle-Dachshund, Lulu, who is also elderly…. and these four little brats. And of course the cats, all of them still, no new additions and no losses there. So still a houseful… we manage. I had just been looking forward to eventually having one day only cats, because they are so much more low maintenance… but obviously it wasn’t in the cards and I’m frankly not all that surprised. By the way, I also think one of the puppies is either retarded (really) or autistic, Bruiser – he poses a bit of a challenge sometimes, but he’s a sweetie. Daisy is, again, my perfect little girl, who is cute and prissy but don’t let that fool you ‘cos she can beat the crap out of all of her brothers even tho they’re twice as big as her, and she also thinks she’s a vicious guard dog (the boys are too lazy to care). Buster with his white body and black head, I kind of intended to keep all along and he very oddly has always kind of looked like a pot-bellied pig when he’s laying on his side on the floor sleeping. Then there’s Petey, who is HUGE and has this GREAT BIG HEAD and was born with a big (now much smaller tho) white question mark on his black head and minds me perfectly and is so gentle even tho he’s the biggest, and is allllll about food. Anyway, yes – it’s very active around here these days. Pictures soon on the site I hope, one thing at a time right now tho…

My father, who as most know had been sick for a long time, passed away in September 2003… miss him, hated it to happen, but on the other hand was glad all that suffering and pain was finally over. You would think that at 38 years old you wouldn’t feel too terribly orphaned, losing a parent like that… but I have decided I don’t think it really matters at any age, except it probably sucks worse when you’re still a kid. I guess, I’m just theorizing there. And of course I’m no stranger to death, having lost nearly two dozen of my friends at this point… but yeah, it’s different.

And on a final note of news… I nowadays am what one would call, um, betrothed… yes, such an ancient and biblical word courtesy of my VERY Catholic significant other… anyhow, well, couldn’t be happier, story’s been 16 years in the making, right under my nose all those years and didn’t even know it, and so on and so forth, yada yada. Don’t mistake my flippancy for lack of enthusiasm – I’m just tired plus I can really only say so much. Call it crazy, here I am pushing 40 but still feeling just a smidgen (not much, ‘cos the truth is I really don’t give a ****) of guilt at having violated one of the cardinal rules of small town girlhood, one of the ten commandments if you will, that being thou shalt not get in a serious relationship with one of your best friend’s boyfriends, even if it’s been 15 or 20 or more years, by god. If you didn’t grow up in a small (and probably Southern) town the severity of this violation will likely be a somewhat incomprehensible concept, but suffice it to say that even though Kelli and I have been best friends through our teens, college days and thus far into adulthood, there is still a part of me that will never ever forgive her for having kissed my high school sweetheart, the one whom I almost married, before I did (another one of those cardinal rules – don’t be sucking face and messing around with someone whom one of your best friends could end up married to or at least in an otherwise long-term relationship later or you may live to regret it, possibly for life). Likewise, she can hold a similar grudge against me for messing up one of her own potential life partners – once upon a time we were dating cousins and I dumped the one I was dating, after which not long after the other cousin dumped her (which leads to another rule – if you and one of your best friends are going to date brothers, cousins, or any such tandem pair then you make any and ALL decisions together or risk being held responsible for god only knows WHAT for the rest of your life). However, in retrospect, and I think she will agree, this rotten lousy selfish rash act of mine actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise as her half of the cousin team has reappeared later in life and turned out to be a real **** so now one could say she has me to thank for saving her from potential lifelong misery! Yep, there are many nuances and anomalies in the whole concept ‘cos, well, you know, we come from small towns and you run out of new people to date after a while and things get potentially (and all redneck jokes aside, not literally) sort of incestuous, but you realize what I’m talking about here is really super serious, long-term, maybe you almost got married and maybe you didn’t but still pretty damned serious relationships. But I digress, and how’d Kelli get into this conversation anyway since she has nothing to do with this current thing…

Well, to make a long story short, my significant other and I were once a part of two OTHER couples 15-16 years ago and, well, we are just slow. (ha!) It took us that long to figure out the wrong two people were together in those two couples and so, well again, here we are, now over two years after we both became aware of that amazing discovery at almost exactly the same moment, socially retarded as we both are (ha! again). Probably needless to clarify at this point (rolling eyes, I know I have begun to ramble… oh you missed me, admit it…), the female half of that other couple was one of my best friends since I was a kid, so yeah, even tho I have not lived in my hometown in 21 years almost now and even tho I’m, again, pushing 40 now (in case anyone forgot), there is still just a little teeny tiny bit of small town guilt about that fact just on the basis of violating probably the number one most important cardinal rule (but really when it comes down to it I don’t feel one bit guilty about it… in other words, pshaw!). But still, as the aforementioned Kelli herself (who has violated such rules over and over and over again and totally sans guilt pretty much every time) said to me a couple of years ago when I informed her of whom I had hooked up with, just to be sure and remind me in case it hadn’t crossed my mind already -

“Lynn, you just don’t DO that!!” – emphasis on you, meaning the very idea that I would do such a thing was so incomprehensible as to possibly be a sign of the apocalypse. And she is right – I never dated ANY of my friends’ boyfriends, with the exception of two and they, frankly, just don’t count. One I was sent out on a date with as a proxy when that friend had to go out of town, so that was what one would call sanctioned or endorse – and another whom we all kind of just passed around anyway, plus it was just impossible to truly get serious about him and listen to me and listen to me well here, a few dozen gals besides myself would say the very exact same thing, I’ll have you know. So, in summary, up until quite recently, I have been squeaky clean on that deal. Unlike some of my friends who will remain unnamed but their names start with K (but she recently married a really really nice guy whom none of us have ever dated before so I should really cease picking on her about having dated EVERY single young male person within two whole counties for lo those 20 or so years)… I was a saint among Southern divine sisterhoods and all that rot. Heh.

Anyhow – yeah, I’ve violated the big one, so sue me. Actually my significant other has as well – the fourth, other male half was his friend as well – but he’s a city boy (not this city but another) so those small town rules don’t matter (and therefore he could really and truly give a ****), but still there’s just no getting around that I’m with my former best friend’s former boyfriend and he’s with his former best friend’s former girlfriend. As for him, the only thing that’s even mildly interesting to him about small town sort of stuff is the fact that once when he had the chutzpah to call me a “country girl” I very quickly reprimanded him and corrected him that I have never ever even once lived in the country except to have lived one mile outside the city limits, which really doesn’t count, once for a couple of years and I am most certainly and assuredly NOT a “country girl”, I am a TOWN GIRL, dammit. Which continues to this day to be an endless source of amusement for somebody but personally I just don’t find it very funny at all… anyway…

But yeah, I’m still kind of waiting for this inevitably uncomfortable and touchy situation to rear that aspect of its ugly head – somehow miraculously it didn’t at my 20 year high school reunion last year, tho I was fully expecting and prepared for it, but since the eventually offended party didn’t show it didn’t happen. I just know that while it frankly doesn’t matter a bit what either of the eventually offended parties think ‘cos it’s obvious now who belonged together in the first place – it ain’t gonna be pretty. (shrug) Although in the case of my former significant other, in that case I REALLY REALLY don’t care, matter of fact I am looking forward to the day the phone inevitably rings – because it always does, eventually – and boy won’t THAT one be surprised when I hand the phone over so Mr. Right can tell Mr. Waaaaaaaaaaaay Way Way Wrong exactly why I don’t wish to speak with him and exactly what I feel he should go do with himself… (Mr. Right hates the idea of that whole concept by the way, mainly because of his dislike for his former friend my ex, but I just think I’ll have SUCH a sense of peace I haven’t quite had in darn near 20 years at that moment… ahhhh… some things are worth waiting for…)

Anyhow, well, there ya go, that’s about as much high drama as I get these days ‘cos frankly me and him are both getting old and boring and all set in our ways and stuff. I mean, you know, technically I could be somebody’s grandmother at this point (thankgodthankgodthankgod NO, but my old and dear friend Julie who is a year younger than me is, hahahaha…). So I would like to think I am beyond spewing much spite about how I wasted pretty much all of my twenties for absolutely nothing, but just on the off chance Mr. W.W.W.W., who probably still hasn’t figured out how to operate a computer yet anyhow, does drop by here, I have three things to say: (1) Nope, you’re not imagining things or having an acid flashback; (2) you’re damn right that’s who I’m marrying; and (3) You know what, you were absolutely right to try to keep us apart all those years, even though you were not only too self-centered to be conscious that you were doing it, but too selfish and self-centered to be aware that the reason you were doing it was because you felt threatened and inferior – and rightly so! (To everyone else – sorry – I’ve been getting impatient and waiting about two and a half years to say that, it just feels good to practice… but isn’t it kinda fun to be in on such a potentially icky and ugly and uncomfortable domestic squabble when it’s not your own? Heck I’m right in the middle of it and I think it’s funny, believe you me I will be laughing…)

On an almost ending note, and this will be a huge surprise to some… I think it’s finally time I blow this joint, i.e., uproot and leave where I’ve been the last 17+ years. Matrimony is still a little while away but I really outgrew being here ages ago and there’s not much reason to be here anymore and think it’s time for a change, still ironing out the details but think I might be back among my old stomping grounds before too long. It will be a much desired and nice change of pace – this city’s grown nasty and most of the fun left it a long time ago. And I won’t, if I do this, be far from the aforementioned City Without A Subway… plus they got Blockbuster and 24-hour Wal-Mart and a UPS Store and even Walgreen’s (!!!) in my hometown now!! But tune in later when I will be inevitably griping about not being able to attack Best Buy and CompUSA and the lingerie department at Dillard’s at my every whim now… not that I do a lot of any of that nowadays anyway but you know, it’s the principle and contrary to what SOME people think is soooooo funny, I have actually been a City Girl for a pretty long time now, twenty years in fact. Been a looooong time since this chick has been permanently stuck in the sticks. Next stop after that is that city in East Tennessee, but it should be amusing for a few years while I lament the lack of a Waffle House within 50 miles and get used to small town stuff again. Good thing I have gotten used to doing most of my shopping online anyway…

And finally – I must say this because even tho I hate it like you don’t even want to know what, there are those it will make feel ancient and I think that’s hilarious and just can’t resist – I will turn a whopping 39 years of old, old, horribly old age next week. Heck, really, I don’t even look like I did at 29, ten years ago – I haven’t been this skinny in probably fifteen years, my hair (still blonde of course) is halfway down my back and has never ever been this long, and tho all the females in my family age very well I really thought five and ten years ago I had missed that gene and was going to age horrifically so it’s kind of a pleasant surprise and very unexpected. But turning 39 is still kind of icky… I would probably feel horrible about it but just in the last couple of months one person has commented directly and I have been informed secondhand of two other persons’ comments that in some pictures of me they recently saw I looked like I was (A) in my early twenties (yes!!!) and (B) a teenager (double yes!!!) and the ones that made the early twenties comment couldn’t BELIEVE I was even in my thirties at all (triple yes!!! SCORE!!!) so even though I responded that they were all blind but that was very nice of them to say so, secretly I am, like, – and secretly pleased, especially since ain’t nobody telling the significant other that he looks like he’s in his twenties even tho he’s a little over two years younger than me and especially since he thinks it’s real damned funny that I’m turning 39. So pardon me for a little vanity here, I can’t really gloat (and gloat, and gloat, and gloat) about it anywhere ‘cept here with y’all ‘cos everyone else just rolls their eyes and makes smartassed remarks from the significant other to my mother (isn’t there a law against insulting your own child, especially when it’s your only one?!?!?). Well, so anyway, it just goes to show you that there’s something to be said for being immature and unmarried without children and socially retarded after all!!…

’til soon… hopefully not too long, but I don’t think it will be. Thanks for still dropping by now and again if you’re still doing so… and hey, if you’re someone I’ve not heard from in a while or none of the 4.5 people I know still do come by on occasion and hear from here and there (and not the loser I wasted ten years of my life with, natch), maybe drop me a line or something. I probably would either (A) love to hear from you or (B) maybe be past biting your head off and chewing it up and spitting it out, depending on what you did. Oh, I’m just kidding (maybe) – but seriously, say hi and say you’re alive and we’ll all be… one step closer to world peace! Or something. See ya.

Posted in * top general babble, a family thing, best of the 'net, cats, dobie is a dog, dogs, east tennessee, friends are good, getting older sucks, in my head, knoxville, lynnster logic, lynnster's zoo, memphis, my so-called life, nashville, techgeekchick stuff, television, terminal smartass, the edge (not of U2), the freeloader ex files, the internet is..., the replacements, travelin', updates to the zone, west end boys & girls, west tennessee | Leave a Comment »

No Tellin’ What Ya Tasted

Posted by Lynnster on December 6, 1998

Things interesting and maybe uninteresting… first off, we pulled it off, baby! The Vols are Fiesta Bowl-bound! Sympathies to my ex, who misguidedly supports a team whose fans’ idea of fun is ringing cowbells… I wasn’t real sure we were going to pull it off, but that fourth quarter was to die for. I’m sure every ABC affiliate in the SEC area was getting all kinds of calls when the Kansas State/Texas A&M game ran into overtime… we missed the whole first quarter of ours on TV. In any case, we won, we rock, most of our stars are sophomores and juniors, and it’s a good year to be a lifelong Tennessee football fan.

So anyway… you know, I drive the I-40 leg between Memphis and Nashville a billion times a year (well, I’m exaggerating, but anyway) – how long have those Music Highway signs been up, I wonder? It is kind of nice that it’s been designated as such, tho… and I may have mentioned it before, but has anyone noticed how much coming into Memphis from the East is starting to look just like coming into West Town Knoxville on I-40? I guess it’s all that new crap out at Wolfchase and around Sycamore View, but if I’d, like, been asleep in the car for hours and just woke up, I might be hard pressed for a short bit to tell you what city I was coming into.

I had a very cool little quick trip thanks to the stereo tho – courtesy of wonderful Jimm in Sydney, I now own a copy of some prehistoric Hoodoo Gurus stuff, i.e., bands they were in prior to the Gurus, like The Hitmen, The Victims, Super K, much much more… yay! I am in some serious Hoodoo heaven at the moment. Gotta love the Internet… ten years ago it’d have been nearly impossible for a short blonde American chick to get her hot little hands on some of this ancient Australian indie stuff!

Jimm’s also been responsible for something practically unthinkable when it comes to me and music – it’s only happened maybe once or twice before – which is influencing and getting me severely into digging a very well long-established artist, but I don’t wanna talk about that for other reasons, in any case, kudos to Jimm, he shareth my ear & giveth me stuff I never thought I’d get to hear.

Onto other things… OK, what is it with this weather??!! Here it is December and I have the windows open and all ceiling fans running on high because it’s so blasted warm. As KC said last year, “Uhhhh…. snow? Snow what? What’s snow?” We’ve had several years of unseasonable warmness here now and haven’t had a decent snow since 1988, but this is really ridiculous.

On the other hand, it is kinda fortuitous at the moment since the guys and I are planning a ritual Sunday afternoon trip downtown today (if it doesn’t rain, and it’s beginning to suspiciously look like it might). This is Hotshot’s last week here and Greg’s got to head back up North to do the packing and moving thing, so today’s really the only day we have left. Scott and Greg are pretty good stand-ins, but I miss Jay and I even miss KC (I must be drunk)… In any case, if I make it down by the cobblestones today, barring any rain, I’ll raise a glass and say goodnight Mr. Callicott, wherever you are. (giggle) ’til later folks…

Posted in about the weather, aussie music, east tennessee, friends are good, hoodoo gurus, in my head, knoxville, memphis, middle tennessee, nashville, the ex files, vols, west end boys & girls, west tennessee | Leave a Comment »