My pal CeeElCee brings up a good point about all the flood of e-mail marketing preceding Father’s Day (and for that matter, Mother’s Day, for the same reasons) that I’ve been thinking about myself in recent weeks, and have in the past.

We are all mostly taking it in stride and being tongue in cheek about it over there in comments, but obviously all of us whose fathers are deceased have had pretty much the same thoughts about it all, as I’m sure folks who have lost their mothers thought the same in the flood of e-mail marketing preceding Mother’s Day.

My mother’s alive and well, thanks (and a frequent reader & commenter here, and regular Internet user).

But what if she weren’t? Not to mention the fact that HER parents have been gone for ages; one for nearly as long as I’ve been alive.

I had a long conversation for the first time in several months with my former longtime co-worker, who lost her very elderly and extremely ill dad last summer. One of the things she and I have always had in common is that our fathers’ birthdays and Father’s Day always fell on the same week (as does her birthday). So this year, she is experiencing the June double whammy I have been for the last four years.

I get that it’s all about marketing, I understand it. And I know you can’t please everyone. I mostly - like I said - take it in stride and just overlook it. Normally it doesn’t bother me THAT much.

But it ALWAYS gets my attention, because of the circumstances - and it’s NOT the kind of attention marketers are striving for with those Mother’s Day and Father’s Day suggestion e-mails.

And I guess what kind of bugs me is that it seems like those holiday marketing e-mails are greater in number at Mother’s Day and Father’s Day than most other holidays, even Christmas. And while I do realize it’s all about the marketing, and I understand why it’s a necessary evil - it just seems like it might be a little better if many of these e-mail marketers scaled back their holiday marketing pummeling for those two holidays for the very reasons I bring up.

You hit someone like me on a bad day in a bad year - last year, not so much; this year, every day is a bad day - and tick them off, the results are never going to be good.

Again, I don’t have that big a chip on my shoulder about it, really. Generally, I’m pretty laid back and easygoing and not all that touchy about most things, I just have to work a little harder at it when it comes to this. And for the most part, the ones that come from Amazon and places like that, I mostly just overlook and hit the delete-delete-delete without much more of a thought.

Though the point is, there IS a thought… and it’s not the one they want me to have, that they’re intending with their marketing campaign of those holidays.

I have many, many e-mail boxes so I get TONS of these mails, and even more tons that aren’t coming from more traditional Internet marketers and are coming from the mega-spammers.

So it’s there that I take out my frustrations when I feel like it - which, this year, has been rather often. So depending on what kind of mood I’m in at the moment - well, let’s just say there’s several e-mail spammers that have been getting “My father’s been dead for almost four years, go away” e-mails back.

Not that they care, the mega-spammers. I can’t really say I haven’t thought about doing the same with some of those Amazon and other e-mails though.

Marketing’s marketing, and there’s no simple answer, I know.

But fair warning, marketing e-mail spammers and marketers of the non-spammish kind: Today would have been my father’s 66th birthday, so I might be a little less nice than “go away” today. Apologies in advance.

One thing I almost always get in my Christmas stocking every year (we’re Episcopalian, that explains it, right?) is a few miniature bottles of whatever liquor or liqueur - usually Bailey’s or Kahlua since I drink stuff like that in coffee often in the winter, but sometimes other stuff. I don’t drink much liquor as a rule and my tastes tend to run to anything that tastes like Kool-Aid. I like many Schnapps - green apple, cinnamon, butterscotch, peach (Pucker in the peach preferably, the rest is too sweet). I like white rum, vodka, and that’s really about it. In the last couple of years, I’ve scored some little bottles of Stoli and some vodka from the Czech Republic.  It’s also a well-known fact I like orange soda.

So what better after a really crummy week than to pull a Keith Richards and celebrate the end of this awful week with Keef’s favorite drink, Nuclear Waste - orange soda, cranberry juice, and vodka. Although I’m kinda beginning to think about halfway through that this might taste better with some of that Malibu Rum I’ve had stashed in the kitchen for months instead.

But it’s okay. Depending on where you read, some recipes don’t include the cranberry juice - just straight orange soda and vodka, I think better with the cranberry juice though. Some recipes claim it has to be Sunkist (which I can’t stand) and some say orange Fanta (which is what I’m drinking). It’s all right, but I’m probably still going to dump some of that coconut rum in there before the night is through.

On another note, you might want to have a couple of your own favorite beverages and then go look at this.  (Please don’t tell anybody that my first question to ‘Coma when she first pointed it out was, “Are they kangaroos?” - let’s just keep that between you and me.)

So if you read the last post, you know what kind of mood I’m in today.

Guess who just found gift cards from Christmas she not only forgot she had, but never unpacked?

Honestly, I really thought the ones in my billfold WERE the ones I got this past Christmas. I guess they were from the Christmas before that (or even the one before).

Certainly not a millionaire now but it’s such a shock it kinda feels like it!

Excuse me, I’m off to the store and to put exactly three dollars and however many cents of gas in my car…

So I’m here to tell you that yesterday, April 12th, was National Licorice Day.

WTF???

You know, it’s been my experience that most people don’t even like licorice. I like cherry and strawberry Twizzlers okay, but that’s about it.

No offense to the licorice industry, but wow, I just don’t know what to think about National Licorice Day.

By the way, today (April 13th) is International Plant Appreciation Day. Even though I have a black thumb, I think I can appreciate a plant a little easier than I can licorice. So go appreciate your plants, people! No charge.

I miss all my blogging buddies. My apologies for not having been around and for this place’s total uninterestingness of late. Unfortunately the lack thereof kind of reflects the amount of creativity in my head right now… totally blank.

I can’t really write much more right now - for one thing, I’m leaving to head out of state for the holidays in a few hours - all I can really say write now is things are about as bad as they possibly could be and I’m just trying to keep my head up and keep moving forward, so bear with me a little while longer. The Zone’s not dead yet.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and just know I miss you all and think of you often. And hope maybe I’ll get to see some of you in the spring or something. Talk more soon, I promise.

You can get them here. And, it helps animals in need.

Maybe they’re not so sexy, but they sure are really really warm and comfy.

Back in town after being gone a brief period this weekend, and back at work (blah). I’d rather be back in town and back in my bed sleeping until noon, but nobody asked me if I’d like to do that today, so here I am.

I haven’t had a lot of free time the last almost-week or so, and am seriously behind in everything including my usual rounds of blog-reading, so as soon as I get semi-caught up, things’ll get back to normal again (whatever that is). Thankfully after all this rushing around with Christmasing and unexpected out of town runs and planned out of town runs the last few weeks, finally I don’t have to go ANYWHERE for a few weeks so I’m really looking forward to being lazy. Except for when Newscoma and Co. are here this week, of course, which I’m also looking forward to and will not require a trip of more than five or ten miles, thank god. And beer. Lots of beer, I think.

Oh, and thanks everyone who has commented or e-mailed regarding Dobie. He seems a little better the last few days. There are some things still concerning me (like the fact Bruiser has practically glued himself to Dobie, but then again Bruiser thinks Dobie is his dad, and also is not exactly playing with a full deck anyway) but for now I’m just watching him closely. Lulu doesn’t much want to do anything lately either so maybe both the elderly dogs are just feeling their age this winter. In any case, Dobie’s definitely perked up a bit from the way he was the other day when I was so concerned, so this is an improvement.

Actually there’s all kinds of weirdness in my house today - Schuyler and Quincy are curled up together sleeping and that NEVER happens. I’m starting to wonder what happened in my house Saturday night while I was gone, I think some of my cats have been replaced by alien pod cats… I’d show you a picture, but my house is so dark and Schuyler’s jet black, so it’d just look like Quincy and a big black blob.

’til later, Happy Monday… no, that’s not right… Mondays suck!

Yesterday - as those in Tennessee know - the prolonged downpour that was supposed to keep going stopped, and it was mostly sunny and probably around 65 degrees most of the day here in Memphis.

They were saying in Nebraska - where my sister and brother-in-law moved last summer and I’m still not over it - that they would have “a few inches” of snow yesterday.

They got 14 inches. Every single one of my bro-in-law’s e-mails yesterday ends with “F*cking snow!”

Tee hee.

So Happy New Year to you and yours.  I had intended to be posting last night, but by mid-evening had worked myself into a pretty sorry mood and, probably somewhat fortunately, fell asleep.  The fireworks (and gunshots, remember where I live) woke me up at midnight but I just kinda took bleary notice of the time and went back to sleep.

Among some other things, I am irritated that with three weekend nights - and, obviously, the opportunity to really sleep in - I still haven’t slept in my bed.  I’ve slept, yes.  Just not actually gone to bed.

I think my New Year’s resolution is to never spend another New Year’s Eve by myself again.  It really kind of sucks.

The bad: I’m here, if you can call it that. I returned home sometime after 2 a.m. this morning. And, since you can’t leave here without five billion things to do upon returning, went to sleep shortly after 5 a.m. and had to get up at 7 for work. I think I’m awake right now, but I’m not entirely sure about that.

The good: Tomorrow is my day off, then I work Friday, then of course is the weekend. Man, I like working two days a week. Hmmm.

The bad: I forgot and left behind a couple of very important stocking stuffers, which irked me. (Note to self: Always look in the hall closet before leaving for Christmas.)

The good: I got tons of incredibly cool stuff and we all had a very good Christmas together. It would have been just as excellent without all the presents. And thanks to all who left those nice Christmas wishes. Yeah, it all turned out fine, despite my panic attacks. (And deep down in my cold, black Grinchy heart, I suppose I always knew it would turn out fine anyway.)

The bad: I think my family might be singlehandedly responsible for Amazon’s announced huge Christmas profit this year. (But I probably don’t care, because…)

The good: I think my family might be singlehandedly responsible for Amazon’s announced huge Christmas profit this year. I think I have more than a half dozen gift certificates to redeem. Watch me spend them with glee!

The good: My brother-in-law gave my sister an iPod, which will no doubt keep peace in their family as now he will be able to play all his insane games on his laptop without being interrupted and asked questions every ten minutes.

The bad: My brother-in-law gave my sister an iPod, and I may never be able to get her on her cell phone again because she’ll never hear it, because it’ll be 24/7 iPod.

The good: I apparently made my rental car reservation so late for my compact car that I got like a quadruple upgrade because they were out of everything else. I thought it must be a mistake when I walked to my assigned vehicle and saw the minivan/SUV/whatever it is sitting there. Nooo problem packing the vehicle with presents to and from our destination. On the way up to pick up my mom, we were on the phone and she goes, “Are we going to have enough room?” I’m, like, “Oh, yeah, we have plenty of room” - without telling her what had happened, so then I was all pleased with myself about what was going to be a big surprise. (No, it doesn’t take much to amuse me.) Anyway, yes, unexpected compact-to-SUV upgrade, that totally rocks.

The bad: Why can’t that happen every Christmas?

The good: I got some real, actual, several hours’ worth sleep, in a bed.

The bad: Well, I’m obviously off to a bad start again on less than two hours’ sleep last night, but maybe there’s time to sync myself into some reasonable sleeping schedule so I don’t stay up for most of another three weeks again.

The bad: The much-anticipated-by-moi Lynnster Christmas Tour of Middle Tennessee 2006 was a total bust, and it’s all my own fault. We dragged around all day Tuesday and hung out and visited with family some more, and ended up not leaving Chattanooga until after dark, so I didn’t get to meet up with CeeElCee, KathyT, or Ivy as planned. And Ivy’s poor little Megs has pneumonia, which is terrible.

The good: I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with Kathy on the phone anyway despite my messing up our meet-up plans, and she’s just as nice and fun as you would think she’d be. Can’t wait to meet her and Ivy on the next trip! And, Megs is feeling better today, so Ivy says - yay! And I guess the other good is when I come back up in late January or early February, I’ll have much more time (and quality time!) to spend with folks anyhow.

The bad: Just being away a couple of days and I am hopelessly, tremendously behind on the way too many blogs I read daily.

The good: Lots of cool stuff to read and pictures to look at, and several days off soon ahead anyway.

The bad: I am home.

The good: I am home!

Hope everyone had a happy happy and merry merry, can’t wait to get caught up and see what everyone else was up to…

Well, everything is OK so far, but if I get out of here anywhere near on time it may be a miracle. One thing I can’t do is hang around the computer this morning for sure or there’ll be real trouble.

Wishing everyone the merriest of Christmases! Hope everyone gets at least one really cool present they really wanted this year!

… and I have basically gotten jack done.

Christmas is going to be the death of me, and I might just not be joking as my throat is getting more and more sore as the minutes wear on tonight and I have a little bit of a headache. This usually bodes no well, but there’s a small possibility that if I go to bed soon and get a half decent night’s sleep (for the first time in ages) all these nagging you’re-about-to-get-sick symptoms might go away. I’m hoping anyway. I don’t wanna be sick for Christmas and especially when I gotta drive all the way to Chattanooga tomorrow.

I’m not real sure how I’m going to be ready for Christmas and leaving, but I figure it’s all going to work out somehow some way. Today’s been a nutty day. I had barely finished reading about the sudden and sad passing of another blogger’s family member today when my future mother-in-law called to tell me future father-in-law had gone in the hospital overnight with a heart attack and had a quadruple bypass in the middle of the night last night. He is doing fine this evening and should recover nicely, he’s a pretty healthy guy in good shape with no bad habits (unlike yours truly), but that was so unexpected and what a shock.

I wound up spending so much time on the phone today, I really didn’t get some things done I should have early on and am debating whether to just bag all my gifts when I get there to save a little more time (which reminds me I forgot to buy more tissue paper… grrr). Still several other things I really should do tonight too, but I know I need sleep pretty desperately. I’m just afraid I might not get up early enough to get all I need to do before leaving done, if I go to sleep now. What to do, what to do. Among other things, I still gotta put Ivy and Kathy’s phone numbers in my cell phone - ack, better do that now!

Well, some way or another this is all going to work out. If I haven’t already told you Merry Christmas myself, wishing everyone a Merry one now in case I’m too running crazed tomorrow to get back on again!

You know that feeling you get when you’re not really sick yet and your throat’s not sore yet and your head’s not feeling bad yet, but you feel kind of funky like you’re about to get sick like that? Yeah.

Um, I do not have time to be sick this weekend and short of being on my deathbed, I have to go to Chattanooga on Sunday, sick or no.

I’m achy all over too, which I thought was a byproduct of all the mad desperation shopping yesterday (well, and falling asleep in the chair again), but now I’m not so sure. In any case, I AM sleeping in my bed tonight and until I feel like getting up. Hopefully that’s all I need and all this ooky feeling will be gone tomorrow. Fingers crossed…

Hey, all you good and wonderful people. I am OK. I was out of the house for over 8 hours yesterday, what with the office Christmas party and desperation shopping, since I haven’t been able to do any. The good news is I do not have to go out to ANY more stores. I have a little online shopping that I was planning anyway to do tonight or tomorrow, and once that’s done, I am finished except for the wrapping. Or I should say in my case, bagging.

I noted on another blog this morning (sorry, it now escapes me where I saw it - I got so behind being gone yesterday, catching up today has been a blur) the theory that gift bags did not make things as Christmas-y as wrapping up presents one gets to tear into. While I do totally see the point, I gotta say gift bags are the best thing that ever came along for someone like me.

You see, much like I was born missing the gardening gene, sewing gene, and housecleaning gene, I also apparently am missing the giftwrap gene. I am like the world’s absolute worst present wrapper EVER. Every once in a while, I’ll wrap one that doesn’t come out looking just plain pitiful, but even those have inevitable problems. I’m just not good at it.

Not even working at the giftwrap counter of my godmother’s gift shop for a couple of Christmases and one graduation season helped. I learned to do those just well enough to be passable. Most boxes were in one of three sizes, so it was repetitive enough I could make them look like something besides something your retarded 2-year-old cousin might wrap. But I just have never been very good at it. No, that’s an understatement; I’m not good at it at ALL. Give me a roll of wrapping papers, scissors, and tape, and soon there will be a disaster of epic proportions.

Nowadays, with the widespread sale of gift bags and cute little gift boxes, I’ll go out of my way to not have to wrap something traditionally. Right now I have one thing that can’t be bagged, though if I had a bag big enough, you can bet it would be bagged too.

In any case - yep, like the gardening, sewing, and housecleaning gene, I am most assuredly missing the giftwrap gene as well. I can cook, however, so I guess that makes me not an 100% poor excuse for a female.

On another note, I do appreciate everyone’s kind words and worry this week. The stress over not being able to shop for Christmas, all the huge expenses, and the inability to sleep almost got added to yesterday when it appeared my Christmas bonus for this year had gone missing, but it turned up, much to my relief.

Health-wise, honestly, I think I’m okay, I just need several days with not so much to do and plenty of opportunity for several good night’s sleeps. I have habitually overworked myself on a regular basis for some time now, averaging 60-80 hour work weeks for a very long time, and that coupled with all the recent stress plus some other stressors I haven’t blogged about, I think I just managed to hit the proverbial brick wall with both stress and exhaustion. Unfortunately the next couple of days are going to be hectic preparing some more for the holiday and getting out of town, and getting ready to go out of town.

But tonight I have an opportunity for a good night’s sleep - maybe two nights in a row if I can get ahead on all the stuff I need to do before Sunday morning - and I only work two days next week. So my plan is when I get back in town next week, I’m going to pick up some melatonin at McSmiley’s previous suggestion, try to avoid taking on much freelance work next week, and just try to chill out and rest and recuperate.

And if that doesn’t work, then maybe I’ll head up to N-town and let Hutchmo and Mrs. Hutch bring me back to good health with peace and quiet, decaf, and danishes. Well, maybe I’ll do that anyway. Mmmm… cheese danish!

But I promise if things don’t get better soon, I will see someone with a medical degree for real so y’all can all stop worrying. You are all sweet and wonderful good folks. I may have worked for and with doctors most of my life, but I don’t like to see ‘em unless absolutely necessary!

Back to finishing the day and hopefully making some headway on projects, catching up, and must-do’s tonight and tomorrow as well as sleep. Hope everyone is having a good Friday and not suffering pre-holiday stress. I am most thankful to have gotten that shopping out of the way even though it liked to have killed me doing it all at once yesterday like that - one less thing to worry about!

I think I will just stay insane from now ’til Sunday.

I fell asleep AGAIN! And at the desk once again, and my left shoulder now won’t move (well, without an EXTREME amount of pain) from being all crunched up in the chair all night long.

I am so screwed. I’m trying to get some freelance work done right now with a deadline this morning (which I should be able to finish in plenty of time), but then I’ve got to get a number of things together so I can be prepared for some desperation shopping this afternoon, and have to be ready to leave the house in plenty of time later this morning for more REAL desperation shopping this morning for the office Christmas luncheon. This is the second year in a row they have scheduled that on my day off, makes me so happy.

I wish I had gotten some REAL sleep and in bed last night, ‘cos by the time I get done running around today and get back home I may be comatose. And I really, really, really need to do some more stuff tonight. There is SO much that needs to be done before Sunday.

I’m OK with not canceling Christmas, but can we just delay it another week? Ugh, ugh, ugh.

There is so much I want to get done before leaving town for the holiday, but right now I’m my own worst enemy. Not only has there been all this stressful junk, but I’m not doing myself any favors by my inability to stay awake when I need to (and, thus, inability to go to sleep when I should). I had one of those “oh, let me just close my eyes for an hour or so” moments last night, which was a stupid move, because I know how that story is going to end every time. Sure enough, seven hours of time I could have gotten all kinds of stuff done later, I woke up.

Granted, I know I need the sleep, but this isn’t even “real” sleep. It’s waking up every half hour thinking I need to get up and do something, but being too still asleep to fully wake myself back up. And in the most uncomfortable chair!! The chair at my desk is terrible, I really need a new one. I think I’ve slept in my bed twice in the past almost three weeks. Maybe three times. It’s pretty ridiculous.

Thursday is my day off, which would be great except I can’t sleep in because my department’s Christmas party is that day. But I am aiming to at least get some slightly significant amount of sleep, in my own bed, tonight at some point.

Since I fell asleep, I didn’t get around to calling my mom last night so she is still blissfully unaware of the bank brouhaha. I’ll call her today, I should have called her last night anyway because a family member had outpatient surgery yesterday and I was supposed to pass along the resulting info.

I’m definitely not really myself right now (which is good, since maybe that means I’ll stop griping and bitching eventually) and very much operating on autopilot. I think I am getting most of what needs to be done on a daily basis done (well, except a couple of things that had to be delayed due to lack of transportation but I’ll be taking care of those Thursday). But I am concerned that I’m forgetting something, like I forgot to pay an important bill or some such. I know I paid the IRS (greedy #$%!@%!s - the self-employment penalties on the freelance work are horrendous as well as unfair) their monthly payment this month, though, so I guess as long as I know I did that, the rest is not that significant.

Wendell, I do appreciate the vote of confidence RE the Christmas shopping problem but I am pretty much screwed all the same. I don’t get paid ’til the 21st, which is the same day as my department’s Christmas party, so I have no choice but to get up way earlier than I want to and do some desperation shopping that morning. And the money from the bank deposit brouhaha won’t clear ’til the 22nd. I can’t even start shopping until Thursday afternoon, really, and I despise shopping anyway. Usually by now I’ve done most of my shopping online and am at least close to finishing, and here this year I have all of ONE present bought. I’m going to try real hard to just bite the bullet and do everything possible Thursday afternoon so my days of misery not only shopping but having to do ALL at once won’t be extended any more days than possible.

I know, bitch, bitch, bitch. But this year and this situation has really kind of broken my heart about Christmas this year. And I know Christmas isn’t really about the presents anyway. But my family, we make a huge deal of Christmas every year. Our Christmases are fun, you won’t see nothing but socks and underwear and ties and sweaters in a gift box. Well, you might, if that’s something someone wanted and needed, but generally we all give each other (A) stuff we really want, (B) stuff that’s neat and cool, and (C) stuff that’s picked out especially and specifically for us.

And this year I’m probably just going to have to give everyone gift cards or gift certificates or something, because there is just no time left. I know that’s a perfectly fine gift in the long run, but that’s just not really me and I don’t like having to do that.

I also always experience a fair amount of hyperactive anxiety when having to travel, even if it’s just overnight. It’ll take me three hours at a minimum on Sunday to be ready to leave, actually probably four, and it’ll be horrible, and once I get on the road everything will be fine. But everything up to that will be nail-biting and cussing under my breath from Saturday night on. (And if I don’t get any sleep between now and then, it will no doubt be worse.) I don’t do well with this, and this is certainly one thing I miss about sharing a home with another person, because when there was someone else to do some of that stuff, it wasn’t nearly so overwhelming.

Oh shit, I haven’t reserved the rental car yet. Must do that too. Crap, one more thing that has to be done. I know I’m forgetting something.

And I know everything will be fine once Christmas Eve is here and I’m where I gotta go. All this craziness lately and no sleep has turned me into a neurotic batch of nerves, and that also is just not usually me. I hope that once all this is over and Christmas has passed and I’m back home and can maybe possibly get back into some semblance of a normal routine again that I will turn back into my normal, less whiny and bitchy and gripey and sometimes funny, self again and everything will be just peachy. Maybe?

On a much happier note, the Lynnster & Momster Post-Christmas Meet-and-Greet Tour is shaping up to be a fun event. Looks like I’ll be stopping on the mountain to say hi to CeeElCee for a few minutes, then onto Rutherford County for a quick coffee klatsch or something with KathyT and Ivy, then on into Nashville. Not sure yet about the status of the Mothership that day, on the day after Christmas (I’d be closed if it were up to me) but it would appear that Sista will be in West Nashville anyway, so we are probably going to attempt to meet somewhere out thataway and anyone else who wants to join us, that’d be cool, I’d love to see anyone but since there’s probably no BBQ in my future next week we’