The Lynnster Zone

babbling since february 1997

Archive for the ‘holidays’ Category

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Merry Merry

Posted by Lynnster on December 25, 2008

I think this is the first time in my life I have ever been alone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  It won’t last – my sister couldn’t leave Nebraska until after work Wednesday, so Christmas for us is pushed back a day, my Christmas Eve will technically be tonight and Christmas Day tomorrow.  In fact, I’m on my way out of town shortly today to get that ball rolling.

Several days ago, I wrote about my frustration and sadness about not really being able to “participate” in Christmas for the second year in a row.  After I’d posted that, my godmother, who I love dearly, commented that it didn’t matter how many presents we had or did not have and that we would all still have a good Christmas and enjoy being with each other and laughing and having fun like usual, and well, she’s right, that’s all true.  But I still can’t help but be frustrated and sad that I couldn’t do much, and what Newscoma wrote the other day about her own Christmas pretty much hit the nail on the head for me too when it comes to Christmas:

This year is a lean, mean Christmas but I’ve gotten into the spirit to a degree. No, there isn’t any big ticket items. People are getting small gifts that I tried to put some meaning into. I’m a gifty person. I like seeing people’s faces when they open their presents. I’m weird.

That’s always been the fun for me as well, at least ever since I was old enough to do my own Christmas shopping.  You won’t find socks and underwear under the tree in our family – well, you will, but they’re the least important – we do gifts that others would probably think silly and certainly unconventional, but everybody gets stuff they really wanted (and some stuff they didn’t but are resigned to getting every year, like my brother-in-law getting sheep in various forms – a family in-joke) and we have a blast.  I like getting just the perfect things for people and seeing their faces when they open their presents, that’s the big thing for me.

And ever since my parents got divorced, my main priority has always been making sure my Mom gets the stuff she wanted.  And I couldn’t do much of either this year, and it depressed me.

As it turned out, I actually was a little better off than I thought I was.  I thought I only had one thing to give one person, and as I was getting things together getting ready to go out of town and kept finding things I’d forgotten about – including something my mother was supposed to have gotten for Christmas probably two or three years ago – I actually wound up with one gift for each person that will be at our family Christmas.  So I guess that’s better, but I’m still pretty frustrated and depressed about it all.

Really when it comes down to it, I’m about at the end of my rope in general.  Last week I spent three days in such depression, fear, and panic about just everything in general that when things improved just a little bit and I felt a little bit better, it was really concerning to me just how bad it had gotten.  It’s a little bit scary to get that far down.  A lot of those things that people will say things like, “I don’t know how he/she could have done that”, things I used to be able to say – I know why people do those things now.  I can tell you for a fact that if you get knocked down and desperate enough, things that may cross your mind, if only for a fleeting moment, are the kinds of things you never would have thought would do so.

But I don’t know, for some reason I’m still here, although sometimes I wonder if the only reason I haven’t just thrown up my hands and given up yet is because somebody’s got to take care of the pets, and if I weren’t here… well, the cats would probably be taken care of, but I know what would happen to my dogs, and it wouldn’t be what I would want.

So I just keep going, but I’m so tired of all the panic and anxiety and not knowing anything every month – how is this going to get paid, how is that going to get paid, how am I going to be able to eat next week, etc.  The car insurance and phone/Internet miraculously got paid this month – which the latter, you know, I’d probably do without too, but without Internet, then there’s NO income at all.

I still don’t know how the car payment’s getting made this month or catching up on the utility bill, and then January will come and all the panic just start’s all over again.  Right now I only have one for sure, every month, monthly check coming in and it will only cover either rent, car insurance, or car payment, so that’s what I consider my rent check.  The rest is pretty much all up in the air every month right now, which is just… yeah, panic-inducing, frustrating, and depressing.

But for a couple of days anyway, I’m just going to attempt to enjoy what there is of Christmas this year and put the rest behind me for a little while.  There will be plenty of time after Saturday for the panic and worrying again, so I’m going to see what little bit of Christmas spirit I can muster up and go with it.

Dobie is not doing very well at all and just had a bath today – which just made him all the more furious with me – my Mom doesn’t know it yet, but he’s coming to visit for Christmas too (thus the bath).  I’m hoping hanging out in a warm house with carpet and a bed to sleep in all by himself with me for a couple of nights, and some turkey and who knows what all else there will be, will perk him up a little bit, or at least make what I am fairly certain now are his last days a little nicer.  He hasn’t shown much interest in food lately, but I kind of expect he will be thrilled about the turkey and whatever scraps.  Sure, table scraps aren’t really good for dogs, but he’s old and he’s dying, as far as I’m concerned he can eat whatever he wants (and whatever he WILL eat).

It seems like this year has just been a never-ending cycle of bad news.  Times have been so tough lately and not just for me, seems like half of nearly everyone I know has been going through something or other – friends losing jobs recently, another recently finding out hers will be terminated at the end of the year, others losing family members here right at Christmas.  It’s just all got to get better sometime, doesn’t it?

Anyway, I hope everyone who stops by here had a really super nice Christmas.  Some of you I miss so much and hope to see in the coming months.  In the meantime, I am on my way in a couple of hours for my own Christmasing, scanty though it is this year.  See you again soon.

Posted in a family thing, blah, blogfolks, dobie is a dog, dogs, friends are good, holidays, lynnster's zoo, my so-called life | 3 Comments »

Super Ultra Extra Comfy

Posted by Lynnster on December 23, 2008

I love this.

It would be sort of the same at my house if I had a mattress on the living room floor, except there would be four more dogs there and a smattering of felines.  B’s cats were apparently fairly uninterested, though.

Posted in * dog photos, blogfolks, cats, dogs, holidays, lynnster's zoo, other people's lives | 2 Comments »

The Usual, Unfortunately

Posted by Lynnster on December 15, 2008

Here’s yet another example of how rotten my luck is (and notably has been for some time).  I was getting ready to work on a project a couple of days ago that I badly needed to work on and finish before Christmas got much closer, and as I sat down at the computer all motivated and ready to get productive – the power went out.  Because at the house next door, they were chopping limbs off a tree… but had to get the utility company to kill my power line to do it.

The power was out for, I don’t know, seven or eight, maybe nine hours.  Just mine.  Not the house where the tree is.

In fact, the worker chopping the tree got through about 3:45, and had made several calls, but over two hours later, the utility company had yet to come back and put the (live) line back up.  So I called them too.  They finally showed up after 7 p.m., and by then it was really too late to do anything.

There’s something else I need to get done, but I need a large shipment of (free) Priority Mail boxes from the postal service to be able to do it.  I’ve been waiting a while.  I realize it’s the Christmas season and all with the mail, but just yet another monkey wrench thrown my way.  At this point, even though I badly need to get this done, I’m thinking maybe I’m better off waiting until after Christmas anyway.  Maybe people will have more money to spend on stuff they want but don’t necessarily need (which is what this project mainly consists of) by then.

In any case, I just can’t really catch a break lately.  There’s always something somewhere throwing a monkey wrench into everything.

I applied for a couple of jobs recently.  The very next week, both organizations announced major layoffs and a hiring freeze.

I’m very tired of things like having to choose between buying groceries or putting gas in the car.  Or whether to buy food to eat, or buy paper towels and toilet tissue.

It’s too bad I have to buy groceries at all, since it seems like nearly all the things I have to buy that are necessities have gone up 75-100% practically in the last few months.  Some of them have even gone up that much – yet the packaging has gotten smaller, there’s less of whatever it is in the package.  Other stuff is the same price but now, like, 11 ounces of whatever instead of 16.

Seems like I’ve been saying for months when will this all end?  Seems like it’s not going to.

People close to me will help, but by the time I’ve gotten another round or two of groceries and other necessities or bills paid, there’s nothing left and I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to make $1.49 or so stretch out for weeks again.  I need to put gas in the car again later this week and I’m thinking, OK, now how am I going to do that?

I eat maybe three, four times a week.  I know that’s not good.  But I do things like last week when I made the mistake, after having craved it for days and being hungry as heck anyway, of spending a little extra (less than ten bucks) on a spaghetti dinner from a fave joint around here.  Now I’m wishing I hadn’t and had that ten bucks back.

I have cut back virtually everything, pretty much, until there is no more.  The utilities are almost two months behind again, as that’s pretty much stayed for months now – it’ll get paid somehow.  I wouldn’t have Internet anymore I suppose, except since that’s my sole source of income I can’t very well not have that – of course if the utilities get cut off – well, you know.

Christmas?  I don’t get to participate in Christmas for the second year in a row.  I mean, we’ll have it, and it’ll be fine and nice and all that.  But I can’t buy anything for anyone, and just be opening presents I’ll wish nobody would have bought me since I can’t do anything myself.  I do have one thing for my sister that I just happened to wind up with, but I didn’t really intentionally go out and get it as a Christmas gift.  That’ll be it.

I’ve built up some residual recurring income.  It’s small now, but it will get better.  It’s just stuff that takes some time to grow and is going to continue to.  But it’s not going to solve any big problems right away, that’s for sure.

I do some work but there are issues with that too.  Always issues.  I’m actually constantly working, almost around the clock, sleep here and there when I finally crash, get up and get to work on something else again.  It’s some income, but not enough.  Working on other things too but again, more stuff that’s going to take time for anything to come of it.

I’m just really, really tired of it all.  Sorry.  I probably wouldn’t read here anymore for all the repetitive doom and gloom there’s been either.

Dobie is in such decline that I don’t really think we have much longer.  He is so frail and skinny now, it just breaks my heart.  And that in itself – him getting so frail and thin and pitiful, as well as blind – has posed all kinds of new problems, like today when he got stuck somewhere I wasn’t sure for a while I was going to be able to get him out of.  Last week he got a foot and claw stuck in the old furnace grill and I wasn’t sure I was going to get him loose from that either.  I keep thinking what if he does something like that sometime when I’m (rarely as I am) away from home and is stuck like that for hours?

He and the only other extremely elderly pet left are really throwing me for a loop.  Neither of them are eating as much as they should, although the cat is really doing all right otherwise for her 17 or so years.  It takes her hours to eat when she does eat, though, and she spends most of her time in there talking to her food.  Which is kind of funny, yes, but she’s always had this habit of talking to inanimate objects, starting with a roll of duct tape that was on the floor once years ago.

I always was big into Christmas.  I was thinking the other day of how nice it always used to be between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We’d have the tree up and on every night, and my parents had all this Christmas music on a couple of reel-to-reel tapes that were usually playing every night, and I’d just hang out laying with my head under the Christmas tree listening to music and looking at the lights and ornaments most every night.

Back when people used to have time to enjoy stuff like that, anyway.

I’d do the same at my grandmother’s house.  I remember what all the Christmas decorations she used to pull out every year looked like – probably because I was always helping get them out and put them up – even though I haven’t seen most of them in 25 years.  I guess my aunt still has most of them, I don’t know.  I don’t think there’s really anything I wish I had of all that stuff, except for maybe the little lighted Christmas trees that probably actually originally belonged to my great-grandmother.  There were two of them – one was silver and one was green – they weren’t anything special, just aluminum or tin with a light inside, and colored cellophane or something that made them look like they had lights on them.  Probably from the Fifties or Forties, maybe earlier.  They always sat on the end tables in my grandmother’s living room which, before that, was my great-grandmother’s living room.

I’m older now than my mother was when I left home for college.  Have I already written that here before?  I can’t remember.

So, enough joy and good will to men from me for now.  Maybe sometime I’ll have something better or funny to write about, there just isn’t lately or I’m too busy anyway.

I was about to write that at least Tojo has been staying mostly out of trouble lately, but I just reached over to move him as he was standing over Maggie looking like he was about to jump on her (again), and he bit me (not hard).  So there’s that, too.

Posted in a family thing, ancient history, blah, cats, dobie is a dog, dogs, getting older sucks, holidays, lynnster's zoo, my luck sucks, my so-called life, neighborhood rants, the economy sucks | 6 Comments »

The Thanksgiving Crab

Posted by Lynnster on December 5, 2008

I don’t remember where I’m stealing the idea behind this post from – I think I read and responded to someone talking about it in someone’s comments somewhere last week – but I was in total agreement with it.

Why couldn’t the Pilgrims have looked to the sea, instead of the land, for their Thanksgiving feast?

I know, I know – I KNOW the answer to the question and the Indians and the harvest and being thankful and land and blah blah blah and all that.  I’m just saying I really, really wish the Pilgrims had done that instead.

They were right there by the danged sea.  There must have been lakes and rivers (and heck, ponds!) nearby.    Couldn’t the Indians have taught them how to fish instead?

I am not, and never have been, a big fan of turkey.  Most of the rest of the usual Thanksgiving fare, I like just fine, but the turkey is usually the least eaten thing on my plate.  Most of my favorite Thanksgiving dinners have been the ones where there was ham as well as the turkey.

And then there’s the dark meat thing.  Put any branch of my entire family together – there was only one person who liked the dark meat.  My father – who’s been gone many years now, and really, even before that, pretty much since my parents divorced twenty years ago, and I usually spent holidays with my Mom and family – there’s nobody to eat the dark meat.  It’s useless, except to give to the cats and dogs (obviously they like that idea).

Post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches (with lots of mayo) are fine – for about a day, maybe two, then I’m over it.  When I was a kid, I refused to eat the after Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches at all.

The turkey was fun the one year when dinner was over, and my Dad put the carcass and scraps out on the deck for all the then-outside cats we had at the time.

A few minutes later, we were a bit shocked to see the carcass appearing to walk by itself across the yard.  The female cat who was, over the years, often referred to as “The Turkey Monster” was a great deal smaller than the carcass, so that was a pretty hilarious sight.

But turkey – for me anyway – just sucks.  I know the difference between good turkey and mediocre turkey and bad turkey – but I could almost just about eat cardboard instead, really.

On the other hand, seafood – now THAT’S a Thanksgiving feast I could love.  Lobster, crab, salmon, scallops – yum.  There’s really no seafood I don’t adore, except clams.  I’m a little picky about fish, but most fish is okay.  Heck, give me a Thanksgiving catfish or a Christmas catfish!  That would be A-OK with me.  Thanksgiving catfish, Christmas lobster, Easter salmon – oh, yes!

So, I think that one day – if I ever evolve out of extended adolescence and actually become the kind of matriarch that is the cooker of all Thanksgiving (and Christmas and Easter) feasts – I will begin the tradition of the Thanksgiving crab.

In more ways than one, I’m sure.

(Although I really would have been even happier if the Mayflower had drifted down to the Gulf of Mexico and landed in far south Texas near the border instead.  Thanksgiving fajitas, Christmas quesadillas, and Easter tamales – that’s what I’m talkin’ about!)

(And no, I don’t know why I included Easter in the above.  Every good white Anglo-Saxon Protestant knows you have ham on Easter instead of turkey.)

Posted in a family thing, ancient history, cats, fun with food, holidays, lynnster's zoo | 6 Comments »

Father’s Day Marketers Beware

Posted by Lynnster on June 11, 2008

My pal CeeElCee brings up a good point about all the flood of e-mail marketing preceding Father’s Day (and for that matter, Mother’s Day, for the same reasons) that I’ve been thinking about myself in recent weeks, and have in the past.

We are all mostly taking it in stride and being tongue in cheek about it over there in comments, but obviously all of us whose fathers are deceased have had pretty much the same thoughts about it all, as I’m sure folks who have lost their mothers thought the same in the flood of e-mail marketing preceding Mother’s Day.

My mother’s alive and well, thanks (and a frequent reader & commenter here, and regular Internet user).

But what if she weren’t? Not to mention the fact that HER parents have been gone for ages; one for nearly as long as I’ve been alive.

I had a long conversation for the first time in several months with my former longtime co-worker, who lost her very elderly and extremely ill dad last summer. One of the things she and I have always had in common is that our fathers’ birthdays and Father’s Day always fell on the same week (as does her birthday). So this year, she is experiencing the June double whammy I have been for the last four years.

I get that it’s all about marketing, I understand it. And I know you can’t please everyone. I mostly – like I said – take it in stride and just overlook it. Normally it doesn’t bother me THAT much.

But it ALWAYS gets my attention, because of the circumstances – and it’s NOT the kind of attention marketers are striving for with those Mother’s Day and Father’s Day suggestion e-mails.

And I guess what kind of bugs me is that it seems like those holiday marketing e-mails are greater in number at Mother’s Day and Father’s Day than most other holidays, even Christmas. And while I do realize it’s all about the marketing, and I understand why it’s a necessary evil – it just seems like it might be a little better if many of these e-mail marketers scaled back their holiday marketing pummeling for those two holidays for the very reasons I bring up.

You hit someone like me on a bad day in a bad year – last year, not so much; this year, every day is a bad day – and tick them off, the results are never going to be good.

Again, I don’t have that big a chip on my shoulder about it, really. Generally, I’m pretty laid back and easygoing and not all that touchy about most things, I just have to work a little harder at it when it comes to this. And for the most part, the ones that come from Amazon and places like that, I mostly just overlook and hit the delete-delete-delete without much more of a thought.

Though the point is, there IS a thought… and it’s not the one they want me to have, that they’re intending with their marketing campaign of those holidays.

I have many, many e-mail boxes so I get TONS of these mails, and even more tons that aren’t coming from more traditional Internet marketers and are coming from the mega-spammers.

So it’s there that I take out my frustrations when I feel like it – which, this year, has been rather often. So depending on what kind of mood I’m in at the moment – well, let’s just say there’s several e-mail spammers that have been getting “My father’s been dead for almost four years, go away” e-mails back.

Not that they care, the mega-spammers. I can’t really say I haven’t thought about doing the same with some of those Amazon and other e-mails though.

Marketing’s marketing, and there’s no simple answer, I know.

But fair warning, marketing e-mail spammers and marketers of the non-spammish kind: Today would have been my father’s 66th birthday, so I might be a little less nice than “go away” today. Apologies in advance.

Posted in a family thing, blah, holidays, in memory of..., spam spam spam | 3 Comments »

Just Like Keef

Posted by Lynnster on May 9, 2008

One thing I almost always get in my Christmas stocking every year (we’re Episcopalian, that explains it, right?) is a few miniature bottles of whatever liquor or liqueur – usually Bailey’s or Kahlua since I drink stuff like that in coffee often in the winter, but sometimes other stuff. I don’t drink much liquor as a rule and my tastes tend to run to anything that tastes like Kool-Aid. I like many Schnapps – green apple, cinnamon, butterscotch, peach (Pucker in the peach preferably, the rest is too sweet). I like white rum, vodka, and that’s really about it. In the last couple of years, I’ve scored some little bottles of Stoli and some vodka from the Czech Republic.  It’s also a well-known fact I like orange soda.

So what better after a really crummy week than to pull a Keith Richards and celebrate the end of this awful week with Keef’s favorite drink, Nuclear Waste – orange soda, cranberry juice, and vodka. Although I’m kinda beginning to think about halfway through that this might taste better with some of that Malibu Rum I’ve had stashed in the kitchen for months instead.

But it’s okay. Depending on where you read, some recipes don’t include the cranberry juice – just straight orange soda and vodka, I think better with the cranberry juice though. Some recipes claim it has to be Sunkist (which I can’t stand) and some say orange Fanta (which is what I’m drinking). It’s all right, but I’m probably still going to dump some of that coconut rum in there before the night is through.

On another note, you might want to have a couple of your own favorite beverages and then go look at this.  (Please don’t tell anybody that my first question to ‘Coma when she first pointed it out was, “Are they kangaroos?” – let’s just keep that between you and me.)

Posted in blogfolks, giggles, holidays, music, wasted, weird wild & whoa! | 3 Comments »

Today’s Color Would Be Maroon

Posted by Lynnster on April 21, 2008

So if you read the last post, you know what kind of mood I’m in today.

Guess who just found gift cards from Christmas she not only forgot she had, but never unpacked?

Honestly, I really thought the ones in my billfold WERE the ones I got this past Christmas. I guess they were from the Christmas before that (or even the one before).

Certainly not a millionaire now but it’s such a shock it kinda feels like it!

Excuse me, I’m off to the store and to put exactly three dollars and however many cents of gas in my car…

Posted in holidays, my so-called life | 2 Comments »

Yep, It’s That Time Again

Posted by Lynnster on April 13, 2008

So I’m here to tell you that yesterday, April 12th, was National Licorice Day.

WTF???

You know, it’s been my experience that most people don’t even like licorice. I like cherry and strawberry Twizzlers okay, but that’s about it.

No offense to the licorice industry, but wow, I just don’t know what to think about National Licorice Day.

By the way, today (April 13th) is International Plant Appreciation Day. Even though I have a black thumb, I think I can appreciate a plant a little easier than I can licorice. So go appreciate your plants, people! No charge.

Posted in fun with food, holidays, weird wild & whoa! | 7 Comments »

Merry Merry, Happy Happy

Posted by Lynnster on December 23, 2007

I miss all my blogging buddies. My apologies for not having been around and for this place’s total uninterestingness of late. Unfortunately the lack thereof kind of reflects the amount of creativity in my head right now… totally blank.

I can’t really write much more right now – for one thing, I’m leaving to head out of state for the holidays in a few hours – all I can really say write now is things are about as bad as they possibly could be and I’m just trying to keep my head up and keep moving forward, so bear with me a little while longer. The Zone’s not dead yet.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and just know I miss you all and think of you often. And hope maybe I’ll get to see some of you in the spring or something. Talk more soon, I promise.

Posted in blah, blogfolks, blogstuff, friends are good, holidays, travelin' | 12 Comments »

Probably My Favorite Christmas Present This Year

Posted by Lynnster on February 13, 2007

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You can get them here. And, it helps animals in need.

Maybe they’re not so sexy, but they sure are really really warm and comfy.

Posted in holidays, thumbs up | 4 Comments »

I Don’t Like Mondays (And Dobie Update)

Posted by Lynnster on January 8, 2007

Back in town after being gone a brief period this weekend, and back at work (blah). I’d rather be back in town and back in my bed sleeping until noon, but nobody asked me if I’d like to do that today, so here I am.

I haven’t had a lot of free time the last almost-week or so, and am seriously behind in everything including my usual rounds of blog-reading, so as soon as I get semi-caught up, things’ll get back to normal again (whatever that is). Thankfully after all this rushing around with Christmasing and unexpected out of town runs and planned out of town runs the last few weeks, finally I don’t have to go ANYWHERE for a few weeks so I’m really looking forward to being lazy. Except for when Newscoma and Co. are here this week, of course, which I’m also looking forward to and will not require a trip of more than five or ten miles, thank god. And beer. Lots of beer, I think.

Oh, and thanks everyone who has commented or e-mailed regarding Dobie. He seems a little better the last few days. There are some things still concerning me (like the fact Bruiser has practically glued himself to Dobie, but then again Bruiser thinks Dobie is his dad, and also is not exactly playing with a full deck anyway) but for now I’m just watching him closely. Lulu doesn’t much want to do anything lately either so maybe both the elderly dogs are just feeling their age this winter. In any case, Dobie’s definitely perked up a bit from the way he was the other day when I was so concerned, so this is an improvement.

Actually there’s all kinds of weirdness in my house today – Schuyler and Quincy are curled up together sleeping and that NEVER happens. I’m starting to wonder what happened in my house Saturday night while I was gone, I think some of my cats have been replaced by alien pod cats… I’d show you a picture, but my house is so dark and Schuyler’s jet black, so it’d just look like Quincy and a big black blob.

’til later, Happy Monday… no, that’s not right… Mondays suck!

Posted in blogfolks, cats, dobie is a dog, dogs, holidays, lynnster's zoo, travelin' | 3 Comments »

On the Other Hand, Things That Do Make My New Year Happy

Posted by Lynnster on January 1, 2007

Yesterday – as those in Tennessee know – the prolonged downpour that was supposed to keep going stopped, and it was mostly sunny and probably around 65 degrees most of the day here in Memphis.

They were saying in Nebraska – where my sister and brother-in-law moved last summer and I’m still not over it – that they would have “a few inches” of snow yesterday.

They got 14 inches. Every single one of my bro-in-law’s e-mails yesterday ends with “F*cking snow!”

Tee hee.

Posted in a family thing, about the weather, holidays | 1 Comment »

Happy New Year

Posted by Lynnster on January 1, 2007

So Happy New Year to you and yours.  I had intended to be posting last night, but by mid-evening had worked myself into a pretty sorry mood and, probably somewhat fortunately, fell asleep.  The fireworks (and gunshots, remember where I live) woke me up at midnight but I just kinda took bleary notice of the time and went back to sleep.

Among some other things, I am irritated that with three weekend nights – and, obviously, the opportunity to really sleep in – I still haven’t slept in my bed.  I’ve slept, yes.  Just not actually gone to bed.

I think my New Year’s resolution is to never spend another New Year’s Eve by myself again.  It really kind of sucks.

Posted in blah, holidays | 3 Comments »

Home, Home Again (The Sequel)

Posted by Lynnster on December 27, 2006

The bad: I’m here, if you can call it that. I returned home sometime after 2 a.m. this morning. And, since you can’t leave here without five billion things to do upon returning, went to sleep shortly after 5 a.m. and had to get up at 7 for work. I think I’m awake right now, but I’m not entirely sure about that.

The good: Tomorrow is my day off, then I work Friday, then of course is the weekend. Man, I like working two days a week. Hmmm.

The bad: I forgot and left behind a couple of very important stocking stuffers, which irked me. (Note to self: Always look in the hall closet before leaving for Christmas.)

The good: I got tons of incredibly cool stuff and we all had a very good Christmas together. It would have been just as excellent without all the presents. And thanks to all who left those nice Christmas wishes. Yeah, it all turned out fine, despite my panic attacks. (And deep down in my cold, black Grinchy heart, I suppose I always knew it would turn out fine anyway.)

The bad: I think my family might be singlehandedly responsible for Amazon’s announced huge Christmas profit this year. (But I probably don’t care, because…)

The good: I think my family might be singlehandedly responsible for Amazon’s announced huge Christmas profit this year. I think I have more than a half dozen gift certificates to redeem. Watch me spend them with glee!

The good: My brother-in-law gave my sister an iPod, which will no doubt keep peace in their family as now he will be able to play all his insane games on his laptop without being interrupted and asked questions every ten minutes.

The bad: My brother-in-law gave my sister an iPod, and I may never be able to get her on her cell phone again because she’ll never hear it, because it’ll be 24/7 iPod.

The good: I apparently made my rental car reservation so late for my compact car that I got like a quadruple upgrade because they were out of everything else. I thought it must be a mistake when I walked to my assigned vehicle and saw the minivan/SUV/whatever it is sitting there. Nooo problem packing the vehicle with presents to and from our destination. On the way up to pick up my mom, we were on the phone and she goes, “Are we going to have enough room?” I’m, like, “Oh, yeah, we have plenty of room” – without telling her what had happened, so then I was all pleased with myself about what was going to be a big surprise. (No, it doesn’t take much to amuse me.) Anyway, yes, unexpected compact-to-SUV upgrade, that totally rocks.

The bad: Why can’t that happen every Christmas?

The good: I got some real, actual, several hours’ worth sleep, in a bed.

The bad: Well, I’m obviously off to a bad start again on less than two hours’ sleep last night, but maybe there’s time to sync myself into some reasonable sleeping schedule so I don’t stay up for most of another three weeks again.

The bad: The much-anticipated-by-moi Lynnster Christmas Tour of Middle Tennessee 2006 was a total bust, and it’s all my own fault. We dragged around all day Tuesday and hung out and visited with family some more, and ended up not leaving Chattanooga until after dark, so I didn’t get to meet up with CeeElCee, KathyT, or Ivy as planned. And Ivy’s poor little Megs has pneumonia, which is terrible.

The good: I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with Kathy on the phone anyway despite my messing up our meet-up plans, and she’s just as nice and fun as you would think she’d be. Can’t wait to meet her and Ivy on the next trip! And, Megs is feeling better today, so Ivy says – yay! And I guess the other good is when I come back up in late January or early February, I’ll have much more time (and quality time!) to spend with folks anyhow.

The bad: Just being away a couple of days and I am hopelessly, tremendously behind on the way too many blogs I read daily.

The good: Lots of cool stuff to read and pictures to look at, and several days off soon ahead anyway.

The bad: I am home.

The good: I am home!

Hope everyone had a happy happy and merry merry, can’t wait to get caught up and see what everyone else was up to…

Posted in a family thing, friends are good, holidays, i never sleep | 3 Comments »

Merry Christmas!

Posted by Lynnster on December 24, 2006

Well, everything is OK so far, but if I get out of here anywhere near on time it may be a miracle. One thing I can’t do is hang around the computer this morning for sure or there’ll be real trouble.

Wishing everyone the merriest of Christmases! Hope everyone gets at least one really cool present they really wanted this year!

Posted in blah, holidays | 8 Comments »

The Eve Before Christmas Eve

Posted by Lynnster on December 24, 2006

… and I have basically gotten jack done.

Christmas is going to be the death of me, and I might just not be joking as my throat is getting more and more sore as the minutes wear on tonight and I have a little bit of a headache. This usually bodes no well, but there’s a small possibility that if I go to bed soon and get a half decent night’s sleep (for the first time in ages) all these nagging you’re-about-to-get-sick symptoms might go away. I’m hoping anyway. I don’t wanna be sick for Christmas and especially when I gotta drive all the way to Chattanooga tomorrow.

I’m not real sure how I’m going to be ready for Christmas and leaving, but I figure it’s all going to work out somehow some way. Today’s been a nutty day. I had barely finished reading about the sudden and sad passing of another blogger’s family member today when my future mother-in-law called to tell me future father-in-law had gone in the hospital overnight with a heart attack and had a quadruple bypass in the middle of the night last night. He is doing fine this evening and should recover nicely, he’s a pretty healthy guy in good shape with no bad habits (unlike yours truly), but that was so unexpected and what a shock.

I wound up spending so much time on the phone today, I really didn’t get some things done I should have early on and am debating whether to just bag all my gifts when I get there to save a little more time (which reminds me I forgot to buy more tissue paper… grrr). Still several other things I really should do tonight too, but I know I need sleep pretty desperately. I’m just afraid I might not get up early enough to get all I need to do before leaving done, if I go to sleep now. What to do, what to do. Among other things, I still gotta put Ivy and Kathy’s phone numbers in my cell phone – ack, better do that now!

Well, some way or another this is all going to work out. If I haven’t already told you Merry Christmas myself, wishing everyone a Merry one now in case I’m too running crazed tomorrow to get back on again!

Posted in a family thing, blah, holidays | 2 Comments »

To Be or Not To Be Sick

Posted by Lynnster on December 22, 2006

You know that feeling you get when you’re not really sick yet and your throat’s not sore yet and your head’s not feeling bad yet, but you feel kind of funky like you’re about to get sick like that? Yeah.

Um, I do not have time to be sick this weekend and short of being on my deathbed, I have to go to Chattanooga on Sunday, sick or no.

I’m achy all over too, which I thought was a byproduct of all the mad desperation shopping yesterday (well, and falling asleep in the chair again), but now I’m not so sure. In any case, I AM sleeping in my bed tonight and until I feel like getting up. Hopefully that’s all I need and all this ooky feeling will be gone tomorrow. Fingers crossed…

Posted in holidays, sick as a dog | 2 Comments »

Back in the Christmas Groove

Posted by Lynnster on December 22, 2006

Hey, all you good and wonderful people. I am OK. I was out of the house for over 8 hours yesterday, what with the office Christmas party and desperation shopping, since I haven’t been able to do any. The good news is I do not have to go out to ANY more stores. I have a little online shopping that I was planning anyway to do tonight or tomorrow, and once that’s done, I am finished except for the wrapping. Or I should say in my case, bagging.

I noted on another blog this morning (sorry, it now escapes me where I saw it – I got so behind being gone yesterday, catching up today has been a blur) the theory that gift bags did not make things as Christmas-y as wrapping up presents one gets to tear into. While I do totally see the point, I gotta say gift bags are the best thing that ever came along for someone like me.

You see, much like I was born missing the gardening gene, sewing gene, and housecleaning gene, I also apparently am missing the giftwrap gene. I am like the world’s absolute worst present wrapper EVER. Every once in a while, I’ll wrap one that doesn’t come out looking just plain pitiful, but even those have inevitable problems. I’m just not good at it.

Not even working at the giftwrap counter of my godmother’s gift shop for a couple of Christmases and one graduation season helped. I learned to do those just well enough to be passable. Most boxes were in one of three sizes, so it was repetitive enough I could make them look like something besides something your retarded 2-year-old cousin might wrap. But I just have never been very good at it. No, that’s an understatement; I’m not good at it at ALL. Give me a roll of wrapping papers, scissors, and tape, and soon there will be a disaster of epic proportions.

Nowadays, with the widespread sale of gift bags and cute little gift boxes, I’ll go out of my way to not have to wrap something traditionally. Right now I have one thing that can’t be bagged, though if I had a bag big enough, you can bet it would be bagged too.

In any case – yep, like the gardening, sewing, and housecleaning gene, I am most assuredly missing the giftwrap gene as well. I can cook, however, so I guess that makes me not an 100% poor excuse for a female.

On another note, I do appreciate everyone’s kind words and worry this week. The stress over not being able to shop for Christmas, all the huge expenses, and the inability to sleep almost got added to yesterday when it appeared my Christmas bonus for this year had gone missing, but it turned up, much to my relief.

Health-wise, honestly, I think I’m okay, I just need several days with not so much to do and plenty of opportunity for several good night’s sleeps. I have habitually overworked myself on a regular basis for some time now, averaging 60-80 hour work weeks for a very long time, and that coupled with all the recent stress plus some other stressors I haven’t blogged about, I think I just managed to hit the proverbial brick wall with both stress and exhaustion. Unfortunately the next couple of days are going to be hectic preparing some more for the holiday and getting out of town, and getting ready to go out of town.

But tonight I have an opportunity for a good night’s sleep – maybe two nights in a row if I can get ahead on all the stuff I need to do before Sunday morning – and I only work two days next week. So my plan is when I get back in town next week, I’m going to pick up some melatonin at McSmiley’s previous suggestion, try to avoid taking on much freelance work next week, and just try to chill out and rest and recuperate.

And if that doesn’t work, then maybe I’ll head up to N-town and let Hutchmo and Mrs. Hutch bring me back to good health with peace and quiet, decaf, and danishes. Well, maybe I’ll do that anyway. Mmmm… cheese danish!

But I promise if things don’t get better soon, I will see someone with a medical degree for real so y’all can all stop worrying. You are all sweet and wonderful good folks. I may have worked for and with doctors most of my life, but I don’t like to see ‘em unless absolutely necessary!

Back to finishing the day and hopefully making some headway on projects, catching up, and must-do’s tonight and tomorrow as well as sleep. Hope everyone is having a good Friday and not suffering pre-holiday stress. I am most thankful to have gotten that shopping out of the way even though it liked to have killed me doing it all at once yesterday like that – one less thing to worry about!

Posted in friends are good, holidays, i never sleep, nashville is talking | Leave a Comment »

Christmas, No!

Posted by Lynnster on December 21, 2006

I think I will just stay insane from now ’til Sunday.

I fell asleep AGAIN! And at the desk once again, and my left shoulder now won’t move (well, without an EXTREME amount of pain) from being all crunched up in the chair all night long.

I am so screwed. I’m trying to get some freelance work done right now with a deadline this morning (which I should be able to finish in plenty of time), but then I’ve got to get a number of things together so I can be prepared for some desperation shopping this afternoon, and have to be ready to leave the house in plenty of time later this morning for more REAL desperation shopping this morning for the office Christmas luncheon. This is the second year in a row they have scheduled that on my day off, makes me so happy.

I wish I had gotten some REAL sleep and in bed last night, ‘cos by the time I get done running around today and get back home I may be comatose. And I really, really, really need to do some more stuff tonight. There is SO much that needs to be done before Sunday.

I’m OK with not canceling Christmas, but can we just delay it another week? Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Posted in blah, holidays, i sleep too much, my so-called life | Leave a Comment »

Christmas Is Making Me A Crazy Person

Posted by Lynnster on December 20, 2006

There is so much I want to get done before leaving town for the holiday, but right now I’m my own worst enemy. Not only has there been all this stressful junk, but I’m not doing myself any favors by my inability to stay awake when I need to (and, thus, inability to go to sleep when I should). I had one of those “oh, let me just close my eyes for an hour or so” moments last night, which was a stupid move, because I know how that story is going to end every time. Sure enough, seven hours of time I could have gotten all kinds of stuff done later, I woke up.

Granted, I know I need the sleep, but this isn’t even “real” sleep. It’s waking up every half hour thinking I need to get up and do something, but being too still asleep to fully wake myself back up. And in the most uncomfortable chair!! The chair at my desk is terrible, I really need a new one. I think I’ve slept in my bed twice in the past almost three weeks. Maybe three times. It’s pretty ridiculous.

Thursday is my day off, which would be great except I can’t sleep in because my department’s Christmas party is that day. But I am aiming to at least get some slightly significant amount of sleep, in my own bed, tonight at some point.

Since I fell asleep, I didn’t get around to calling my mom last night so she is still blissfully unaware of the bank brouhaha. I’ll call her today, I should have called her last night anyway because a family member had outpatient surgery yesterday and I was supposed to pass along the resulting info.

I’m definitely not really myself right now (which is good, since maybe that means I’ll stop griping and bitching eventually) and very much operating on autopilot. I think I am getting most of what needs to be done on a daily basis done (well, except a couple of things that had to be delayed due to lack of transportation but I’ll be taking care of those Thursday). But I am concerned that I’m forgetting something, like I forgot to pay an important bill or some such. I know I paid the IRS (greedy #$%!@%!s – the self-employment penalties on the freelance work are horrendous as well as unfair) their monthly payment this month, though, so I guess as long as I know I did that, the rest is not that significant.

Wendell, I do appreciate the vote of confidence RE the Christmas shopping problem but I am pretty much screwed all the same. I don’t get paid ’til the 21st, which is the same day as my department’s Christmas party, so I have no choice but to get up way earlier than I want to and do some desperation shopping that morning. And the money from the bank deposit brouhaha won’t clear ’til the 22nd. I can’t even start shopping until Thursday afternoon, really, and I despise shopping anyway. Usually by now I’ve done most of my shopping online and am at least close to finishing, and here this year I have all of ONE present bought. I’m going to try real hard to just bite the bullet and do everything possible Thursday afternoon so my days of misery not only shopping but having to do ALL at once won’t be extended any more days than possible.

I know, bitch, bitch, bitch. But this year and this situation has really kind of broken my heart about Christmas this year. And I know Christmas isn’t really about the presents anyway. But my family, we make a huge deal of Christmas every year. Our Christmases are fun, you won’t see nothing but socks and underwear and ties and sweaters in a gift box. Well, you might, if that’s something someone wanted and needed, but generally we all give each other (A) stuff we really want, (B) stuff that’s neat and cool, and (C) stuff that’s picked out especially and specifically for us.

And this year I’m probably just going to have to give everyone gift cards or gift certificates or something, because there is just no time left. I know that’s a perfectly fine gift in the long run, but that’s just not really me and I don’t like having to do that.

I also always experience a fair amount of hyperactive anxiety when having to travel, even if it’s just overnight. It’ll take me three hours at a minimum on Sunday to be ready to leave, actually probably four, and it’ll be horrible, and once I get on the road everything will be fine. But everything up to that will be nail-biting and cussing under my breath from Saturday night on. (And if I don’t get any sleep between now and then, it will no doubt be worse.) I don’t do well with this, and this is certainly one thing I miss about sharing a home with another person, because when there was someone else to do some of that stuff, it wasn’t nearly so overwhelming.

Oh shit, I haven’t reserved the rental car yet. Must do that too. Crap, one more thing that has to be done. I know I’m forgetting something.

And I know everything will be fine once Christmas Eve is here and I’m where I gotta go. All this craziness lately and no sleep has turned me into a neurotic batch of nerves, and that also is just not usually me. I hope that once all this is over and Christmas has passed and I’m back home and can maybe possibly get back into some semblance of a normal routine again that I will turn back into my normal, less whiny and bitchy and gripey and sometimes funny, self again and everything will be just peachy. Maybe?

On a much happier note, the Lynnster & Momster Post-Christmas Meet-and-Greet Tour is shaping up to be a fun event. Looks like I’ll be stopping on the mountain to say hi to CeeElCee for a few minutes, then onto Rutherford County for a quick coffee klatsch or something with KathyT and Ivy, then on into Nashville. Not sure yet about the status of the Mothership that day, on the day after Christmas (I’d be closed if it were up to me) but it would appear that Sista will be in West Nashville anyway, so we are probably going to attempt to meet somewhere out thataway and anyone else who wants to join us, that’d be cool, I’d love to see anyone but since there’s probably no BBQ in my future next week we’ll probably just settle for the Barrel or something at one of the exits on I-40W. I wish I had more quality time to spend that day to really hang out with folks, but we are going to be on a tight schedule to get on back to West Tennessee; however, as I said, I’m planning to come on back in January or February and predict there will be BBQ in my future when I do, so if not this time, hopefully I can meet up with some more folks next time, and drag Newscoma with me when I do.

OK, enough of me, over and out. Oh, and go check this out at Jag’s, it’s funny!

Posted in a family thing, blah, holidays, my luck sucks, my so-called life, nashville is talking | 1 Comment »

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