Yeah, I KNOW… I really suck at this lately, and I apologize. I sort of accidentally created what’s become nearly another full-time job for myself, and I’ve either been so overrun with stuff to do that by the time I could really take a breather and do other stuff, it’d be 3 a.m. or something, or else times when I didn’t have work of some sort to do, the only thing I felt like doing was like a mindless game of Mah Jongg or something, or goofing off reading, or whatever wasn’t going to take up a whole lot of energy and brainpower, and the thought of Graffiti and other webwork and such has just been plain evil.
Really to tell the truth you really haven’t wanted to be in my head much lately anyway, it’s an awfully strange place to live at the moment.
My e-mail box, which I’ve been griping about being behind for at least two years now I suppose, has truly reached a totally unmanageable level and I’m at this point now, kinda like I get when the house has reached the point where I just can’t stand it anymore and I have to clean and do housework, where if I don’t do something about all that e-mail soon it’s just gonna keep bugging me, so maybe some weekend soon I’ll just get motivated and crack down and knock it all out in one fell swoop… the pitiable thing is how much junk mail or near-junk mail is in there that I just never got rid of. My eBay mailbox is so nice and organized in comparison and I just want my personal mailbox to be like that, everything I need to take care of right there in small doses and none of this getting so far behind I can’t tell what’s what anymore.
Speaking of eBay, I am now approaching the 600-mark on my feedback rating, that’s cool… who woulda ever thought one could make a living off old Barbie stuff? My god, I’m just so darn happy not to have to be out nights pouring coffee at Starbuck’s or something…
Anyway, yes, I know I have been sucking mega regarding the site lately and I know I’m pretty much incredibly behind in everything, there are so many of you I need to write back, especially folks who just recently moved to St. Louis and other cool stuff I keep hearing bits & pieces about… I’m so sorry I’ve had to so prioritize lately. Actually it’s probably a good thing I’ve been, for the most part, not really online lately (or not online as I know it, rather), ‘cos I think I sort of needed a real break from a lot of things… when online time & things like that that must be done become a chore, you need to just take a break.
I wish there was really some halfway decent news to report, there’s not… I go to work, I come home and work some more or else I go comatose within an hour of getting home and don’t wake up again until dawn, but it’s mostly just been work, work, work. Thank god there hasn’t really been any real Monarchs news lately or the boys would probably be really upset with me… I just haven’t had even a smidgen of time for either website, or what I might have, I don’t like to do important work when I’m half brain-dead, tho I did just update some news on there. And then there’s the editing of the daily China Beach episodes, which is about to come to an end as it’s about to come to almost the end of the show… but don’t even get me started on the fact that TVLand apparently did not secure the rights to the last several episodes and, therefore, unless something’s changed recently it isn’t going to be shown totally in full… there are a number of things I could compare that to, but for the sake of being polite I shan’t. In any case I have gone from being ecstatic that I was going to finally be able to get one of my fave shows of all time on tape in its entirety, only to find the last season will be missing. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there, really.
The inimitable Mr. Greg Breit and I have decided amongst ourselves there are most definite advantages to not dating anyone, tho the advantageousness for females far outweighs the same for males, in my biased opinion anyway… there are many specifics, yes, but I’m not going to spell them out as I’ll never hear the end of it if I do (and don’t even think it, yes I shower regularly and yes I shave my legs regularly, heh… and let’s face it, you guys have it sooooo easy and I really have no sympathy for you whiny things that whine about having to shave your face every day, gimme a break.) Maybe I’m just getting old & awfully set in my ways (probably) but you know, having to deal with the whole dating deal this-and-that stupidness just really makes me dang tired. I think I may just make it a rule that I won’t go out with anyone that I haven’t already dated once before, for some reason that just seems so much easier and less tiresome, of course given certain past & current circumstances (like numerous deceased boyfriends, for one) that kinda narrows the field down to, oh, I don’t know, two? Maybe three.
Anyhow, the recently de-married Greg & I actually did discuss, oh what the heck, dating each other - after all we’ve been swapping spit on microphones and stuff for nearly fifteen years, right - but that was just too gross to even really consider (and naturally KC, aka Conscience Central, was thoroughly disgusted & grossed out by the whole idea - snicker). I’ve been down that “yuck, it’s like kissing your brother” road before and it didn’t work once, I’m not about to go down that misguided road again. Shudder. (giggle)
Anyway, back to business… The Wall itself is still a quandary of sorts to me, in any case… to tell you the truth, I haven’t been much wanting to be here, seeing as how some Wall matters fairly recently sprung forth an argument, which I suppose is the second or third time that’s happened in the years the Wall’s been up, and I’ve really kind of just had it with that. At least one of the other times there was good reason for argument - admittedly I was picking a fight at the time, tho not exactly overtly, no. The Wall is really mainly newsy bits & fluff & nothing particularly important, tho I have been known over the years to drop an occasional hint or throw an occasional slam in the mix, and intentionally so. Successfully, obviously, since a few of those in the now-quite-distant past resulted in one heck of a row. And likely you, the average Wall reader, never noticed because you weren’t the target(s), whom I suspect anyway have gone on their merry little ways ‘cos I can’t imagine why on earth they’d still be hanging around here.
I am rather slain, tho, by recent problems stemming from Wall stuff because it’s stuff that came totally out of left field out of just what 99.99% of Wall stuff is made of, newsy bits & fluff & basic BS that should mean nothing to anybody, basically the stuff that Daytimers are made of… you know, I went there, I did this, I saw that. I often prattle on about what I’ve been doing since I last made a Wall entry, sometimes detailed but more often than not, pretty doggone vague for no other reason other than it’s often pointless (and would be boring) to go into great detail about some things. I mean, really.
Basically what I’m saying, I guess, if you’re here because you know me or sorta know me, or you don’t know me and for whatever reason my general babble piques your interest, fine, dandy, great. But if you’re here and think you’re picking up clues and information and whatever else you think you’re looking for, no matter what you may think you may know, you should be sadly disappointed, because there’s nothing here and, if that kinda thing is what you’re doing, you don’t need to be here. Don’t go looking for things that aren’t there, and don’t go assuming things because, frankly, unless you ask me directly yourself, you simply do not know anything for certain.
Why all this? Well, I recently got hit with a supposed version of My Life According to The Wall, when little could have been further off the mark or further from the truth… not that the Wall entries are untruthful, no, but things that were assumed were completely off the wall and basically quite wrongly used against me in an argument. I simply won’t have it. If I say “I went (here)” or “I saw (so-and-so)”, don’t just assume you know the rest of the story because you know what, you’re probably wrong, and it’d probably be a good idea to ask me first before accusing me of some misdeed or whatever. Just because you see some information here, don’t presume to think you know everything that’s behind it and about it, because it’s now been a proven fact - there’s a darn good possibility you’re likely, again, wrong. It’s not that I am untruthful here, not at all… the point is, rather, that for every tidbit that’s ever written here, there’s probably bunches more info behind & regarding such tidbits that aren’t scribbled here along with them.
In other words, be careful rushing to judgment unless you know for a fact that you are 100% correct. Walk in my shoes for a while, trade places with me, or at the very least, maybe you should just ask before you go just assuming anything.
I don’t know, it just had to be said. If you’re rushing to some concrete judgment on me, what I do, where I go, who I see, whatever else, and it’s solely based on what you read here, then you need to not be here, and that’s my final answer on that. Bye bye, so long, sayonara…
Anyway (oh, you thought I was finished? snicker)… I just think it sucks that it’s come to this with this page, because it’s really never been a chore and has always been something I kinda dig doing. Now, even tho the particular matters at hand are a dead issue, I am (A) not really wanting to be here right now and (B) feeling completely self-censored, whereas before I dug it and self-censorship was voluntary, so the way things are at the moment could make for an incredibly boring and rarely-updated page. Maybe I’ll get over it, maybe I won’t. It’s kind of a shame, because I have recently been extraordinarily inspired by some online writings I’ve been reading of some folks I find much like myself - both names that would be quite recognizable among a few, one probably many - and this recent crap has pretty much destroyed any possibilities for now of my taking that inspiration to be creative myself here. So that really sucks.
Actually I’ve had a thought of having a passworded, alternate Wall of sorts - I certainly have non-AOL webspace to spare and god knows sometimes you just feel like naming names, getting it all out there, and swearing like a sailor (shh, don’t tell my grandmother and my mom, you know I’m supposed to be a proper Southern LADY)… but that kinda would just suck too, although on the other hand it would be fun and quite freeing to be so uncensored… so I dunno.
Anyway… until I figure it all out, don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Biting my tongue or not, I’ll be back…. tomorrow is my Dad’s birthday, so I’m off to make a trip up there. (Another good reason to be crucified I’m sure… you know, I think most everyone here knows my father has a terminal illness, so really anyone that would use my making a trip up there against me has bigger problems than I or anyone short of a psychiatrist could ever help them with.)
That said, hope all is well with most everyone, have a good weekend, and ciao for now…