Watching the ongoing trainwreck that is Stacey Campfield blogging himself out of elected office has been mildly interesting the last several weeks, to say the least. Especially for someone who generally has as little interest in politics as yours truly. I think a central focus in politics should be trying to sway moderate and apolitical opinion (such as my own) your way, not totally disgust and turn those folks off… but hey, that’s just my opinion.

I don’t “do” politics as a general rule. Anyone who knows me knows this to be true, and even though many of my friends are very into that sort of thing, they like me the way I am; I’m fine with what they’re into; it works out. I have just never been the sort to comment on and discuss much, online or off, political issues or anything remotely political - not on my blog nor much of anywhere else.

Before all his recent circus stunts, the ONLY reason I knew who Campfield was in the first place is because of a tacky and done in very poor taste, snarky and attention-grabbing stunt on his blog a while back, the resulting fallout of which led me to the conclusion that if you ask him the age-old question what color the sky is in his world, the answer is probably going to be fuschia or chartreuse, or some color no one in the whole entire world (not even the Department of Defense!) has ever heard of.

I’ll not bore you all with the story in its entirety, but I do think that if you’re an elected public servant, and you’re made aware that your blogging behavior leads a registered voter who really has little interest in politics (key words there) - and who also will likely be a resident of the general locale you represent (more key words) in the not-too-far-away future - to not only express disgust and horror over such behavior, but to state in no implicit terms that they (the registered voter) will now make a POINT (key word!) in the future of working for the other side in hopes of seeing you defeated in any future election endeavors…

Well, I’m just saying that maybe it’d be a good idea to step back and take a good hard look at and review one’s judgment, behavior, and actions, in such a case. Maybe even admit one used poor judgment and bad taste, but you know - whatever. Campfield’s pretty much exhibited a history of dropping bombs and then running away from them, not responding to the opinions and viewpoints he doesn’t like, sulking like a spoiled child or crying foul in the face of opposing or negative public opinion, and especially not apologizing when an apology is due (or way overdue), so I don’t expect much from him when I see he’s pulled another one of his stunts.

I think also, if I read correctly, that I’ve even been banned from posting further comments on his blog. I hope that’s true, at least that’s the way I read it.

Yes, me! Banned from commenting on someone else’s blog! Really!! Can you believe it? Isn’t that hilarious? Everyone that knows me in the online blogging community is seriously having a heart attack right now. (There’s probably a lesson to be learned there, too - I think it’s kinda like banning Shirley Temple as opposed to, oh, banning Charles Manson or Bin Laden or Hitler or something - but it’ll go over his head like most everything else.) I think it’s a kick, and I honestly couldn’t be happier about it, if it’s indeed true - that the only person Stacey Campfield has ever banned from commenting on his blog is a 5′2″, blonde, WASP as they come, totally apolitical chick who’s a product of some of the most conservative Republican families in West Tennessee, with more ties to the same in East Tennessee; who doesn’t even write about politics or social issues but writes about music and Jolly Ranchers and Sweet Tarts and cats and dogs! Is that not a total hoot?!?!?

I just think it’s a riot. Not to mention that Campfield himself may well have created a monster he’d rather not have due to his poor judgment, since suffice it to say I am becoming decidedly a little less apolitical and apathetic about such things as the Campfield Carnival goes on.

It’s kind of a shame, really. The initial issue Campy and I butted heads on could have well been put aside and in the past, if he’d done the right thing and admitted he’d probably made a mistake and an error in judgment, and we could have all moved on and I’d have forgotten about him soon enough. Even worse, dozens of other folks on both sides of the left and right were telling him, or commenting elsewhere in the community, the very same thing I did - he had done something that was in very poor taste for anyone to have done, and it just wasn’t cool. I initially relatively respectfully requested he do the right thing and remove it from his blog. I got snarky patented Campfield response in return and a refusal to do so, so you know, whatever. If you can’t be a man and own up to mistakes and poor judgment when, not only someone you don’t care to hear it from, but dozens of others in the community are saying the same - AND gotta get all snarky and sarcastic about it too? All bets are off and I don’t have to try to be tactful and attempt to politely request anymore. Be a gentleman or be a weasel; be a real elected official and respond to positive AND negative, rather than being a coward and editing and deleting and banning.

And it’s his blog, yep. But I think it’s probably his own worst enemy. I don’t think he understands that if he’d just said, “Nope, sorry,” then I probably would have just said, “Well, OK, sorry to hear that,” and moved on. It could have easily become a non-issue and mostly forgotten. It was everything ELSE he said in his response that was the problem… which I nowadays know is just par for the course with Campfield. He is a master at shooting himself in the foot; or, better yet when it comes to blogging, sticking his foot in his mouth. And the amazing thing is it’s like he goes out of way to stick his foot in his mouth when he really didn’t even have to go that far, time and time again! It’s just really and truly incredible.

Like I said - and I’m but one person and one instance out of what has probably been hundreds, maybe thousands, of really not-too-smart Campfield blogging and commenting and responding moves in the blogosphere - blogging and commenting his way right out of elected office, it seems. It’s kind of surreal, really.

So here’s a point - it’s those of us who don’t really give much of a flying you-know-what for the most part about politics that those in elected public service should probably be most concerned with. Bad judgment and poor behavior will likely not only send us voting on the other side, but if you act out bad enough and display poor enough taste that even the politically interested folks in your own community on BOTH sides of the liberal/conservative divide are saying what you did wasn’t cool - and then, us non-political folk not only making a point to vote against you now and in the future, but making a point of pledging to work to see you defeated from here on out? That’s just probably not a real great thing. No politician in his or her right mind would want their name attached to situations like that.

To illustrate even further just how much Campfield’s blogging behavior is akin to shooting himself in the foot time and time again: I may be personally rather apolitical myself but, again, I come from two West Tennessee families that have in the past been extremely active and supportive in the Republican party, have ties to a third such family in East Tennessee, AND my former longtime boss, whose family is like my own, is still currently very active in conservative Republican circles in Shelby County as are other members of that family. Certainly the name Stacey Campfield is going to get circulated among those circles… but likely not in the way he would probably hope.

Word of mouth can be the most fabulous publicity, but it can also be very dangerous publicity that can work against you. What you say, how you conduct yourself, and ESPECIALLY how you respond to others is SO important if you want to be a successful elected public official. I’m a private citizen with no public service aspirations, I can pretty much say what I want and do as I please on my blog and in dealing with other bloggers. But if I wasn’t? Whole other story.

Using good judgment in what he posts and how he responds to others is not Campfield’s forte, and he rather habitually offends probably the worst possible people to be offending, especially if he has political aspirations higher than the level where he is now. Like thousands of State of Tennessee employees. Or another blogger who, albeit unbeknownst to him at the time initially, has ties to some of the most influential members of his own party, not only statewide but in his own locale.

There’s where he makes mistakes. As a public official who has chosen to blog amongst that same public, every word and every response should be chosen more carefully, because to do otherwise, you know not who you might offend. Every poster and every respondent - unless they have made it clear they’re absolutely against you and on the other side - should be treated as a potential vote; or at least a potential person who might have ties to someone or someones you absolutely do not want to piss off, basically. To do otherwise and just keep jumping in feet first with your responses and blindly spouting off (or so very obviously avoiding responding to current discussions) without a thought of who might be on the other side of the monitor reading - that’s just dumb. And could be political suicide.

Even though I had no clue who he was prior to December 2006, I’ve read enough and talked with enough folks to know he’s a grandstander, specializing in stunt legislation, basically. It’s like he’s continually jumping up and down trying to get the attention on himself and the spotlight shined his way with all kinds of crazy ridiculous stunts that just wind up clogging the Tennessee state government works, and it just makes you want to say, “Sit down, Junior, you’ll get your spotlight one of these days likely when you do something to deserve it and don’t try to FORCE it on you.” Except I think all his grandstanding (and certainly his blogging) will send him out of office in due time, so the likelihood of that happening in the future seems kinda slim.

Ah, but the Campy carnival just keeps rolling along.

I slept for 15 hours on Saturday because I was exhausted and had a humongous headache, and woke up with an even bigger headache. After popping a couple of Tylenol and willing myself for another hour to either get better or die, I finally got around to blog- and feed-reading for the day to see what all I’d missed during my self-induced coma.

There was this, and then there was this real mess (my most recent response to Campfield being around the 3:51 a.m. 2/26 mark, unless Frank chooses to delete it). Which that whole comment thread was curious (on Sunday afternoon anyway), if for no other reason the lack of participation by the blog author and the multiple (read: constant and repeated) instances of I’m-blogging-and-commenting-my-way-right-out-of-public-office by “The Rep“.

This same “public servant” purposely started a firestorm a couple of weeks ago here, which bled over to here and resulted in the longest thread in NIT history, and failed to respond to any of it in a manner befitting an elected public official; in fact, his only direct response was a snarky “:)” emoticon posted in the milieu of discussion on NIT that afternoon. He also has not, to date and to my knowledge, issued a very necessary apology to another blogger towards whom Campfield made veiled threats against their job, simply because that blogger disagreed with the Campfield point of view. In the course of the blogging firestorm he laid in place and then basically ran and hid from and refused to respond further to, he actually had the chutzpah to state that a state employee doesn’t have a “real job”. I’m sure this is a viewpoint all of the thousands of State of Tennessee employees are going to be interested in hearing. Since I have a parent who is a longtime employee in state education of relatively high rank and since I was once a UT employee myself, I sure was interested in that statement. I think it might be my mission this year to see that every Tennessee state employee finds out who Stacey Campfield is and what he thinks of their jobs. Although I will say that a (now very overdue) apology from Campfield to the person who deserves it might make me change my mind.

Maybe. I don’t know, seems to me like the thousands of State of Tennessee employees there are should be aware of snarky insults that someone who is an elected state official made about their state jobs. Not to mention the fact that as an elected state representative… doesn’t that make The Rep himself a state employee? At least part-time?

In any case, I have pretty much said as much that without that overdue apology to the blogger he threatened, I will do what I can to make certain all Tennessee state employees learn who Stacey Campfield is as well as what he thinks of their jobs, not to mention seeing that every registered Republican I know that I’m related to, almost related to, will eventually be related to, or might as well be related to - and there’s a lot of them, and in East Tennessee as well as West! - gets the 411 on Stacey Campfield… what damage hasn’t already been done anyway.

But the thing is, really, I don’t really think I have to do anything anyway. Dude’s already well on the way to blogging himself out of office; past it, in fact, it would appear. Somebody close to him that cares shoulda taken the blogging steering wheel out of his hands a while ago, ‘cos he’s just driving himself right on off the cliff right back into the private sector, at least that’s how it looks from here. And from the looks of probably several hundred other blogs (not to mention other modes of information), I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one that thinks so.

Even before all that melee with his purposely set firestorms and state employee insulting began, though, there was the matter of his recently posted “rules for comments” on his blog, which is further incredibly laughable. Look, if one can’t take any heat - i.e., if one only wants to hear what they want to hear, and not ALL feedback - then one should get out of the elected public servant kitchen, because one is NOT serving the public.

And one should probably get out of the blogging kitchen too… which is really what this all comes down to.

What Stacey Campfield should probably do:

1. Hire a good publicist who is neutral and doesn’t have any real partisan leanings in any direction.
2. Listen to that publicist when told to stop “traditional blogging” because it’s turning into his own political suicide.
3. Put up a website of his own that is not a blog and write all he wants about whatever without the necessity of (or the expectation that he will be) interacting with the public, as would be with traditional blogging. Because man, he’s just bad at it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Or do none of the above and just keep blogging himself right out of elected office. That’s okay with me. I kind of find it an interesting trainwreck to witness.

Am I picking on Stacey Campfield? Maybe, probably. Didn’t really care to post like this until recently.

And the truth is, this post in particular could well have been avoided. Stacey Campfield knows I think he owes two people a very big, and very sincere apology, and that there’s something on his blog akin to little better than sensational tabloid journalism that has no business being there if one claims to be an upright and decent gentleman and human being, or is not a judge in a court of law. Frankly, I’d settle for the most recently necessitated single apology, but I have some doubts that it’s ever gonna happen. Most of the rest of us live in a world where there’s a right thing to do and a wrong thing to do, and Stacey Campfield just doesn’t seem to live in that world or truly understand either.

I should probably state, too, in light of the more recent discussions - I really don’t have any quarrel with, or very strong opinion at this time, on Terry Frank, and I say that because I just have not read enough to form any big strong opinion. But just from reading recent comments over there, as with his own self sticking in his foot in his mouth time and again, I will say that Stacey Campfield’s rather overtly large presence in her current situation and his comments and responses and postings look to me to be hurting her case much more than they are any help.

So, can I just remind everybody one more time? I DON’T DO POLITICS. Nor do I profess to be a writer about much of anything except music, hard and sour candy, BBQ, ex-boyfriends, dogs & cats, and a few other nonessential, totally mediocre subjects that really probably aren’t important to anyone but myself and maybe a handful of others, many of whom have known me for over half my life. I didn’t start a blog ten years ago to make important social statements; I started a blog so I wouldn’t have to e-mail forty or fifty or sixty people the same thing over and over again about whatever was going on with me on any given day.

If I’m not to be taken seriously because I usually write about music and goofy stuff, hey, that’s your call. I’d have to guess, though, that most people that read the more politically-related blogs already have their minds made up to begin with. It’s the people that don’t read political and social issue-related blogs that might not have their minds made up, though, the kind of folks who might read blogs like mine. Something to think about, right?

And it’s wild and ironic, too, that I am even in a position where I can even influence some pretty hardcore serious Republican and conservative registered Tennessee voters, as well as others, against Campfield’s cause simply because of who I happen to be related to or have other ties to. But that just goes to kinda show you that one should look before they leap, think before they speak, and be careful of jumping into potentially hot and sticky pots feet first. There’s a lesson to be learned there, but I’m pretty sure such things go over Campfield’s head as most things seem to.

Anyway, I know my more politically-minded and interested friends are just overjoyed right now that I’m even the least bit interested in writing about such things. This is all insanely ironic and crazy and I can’t believe I’m even writing about some fruit loop politician.

But - it’s important. Because I’m usually mostly uninterested, and probably so are some of you, too. Or, like me, you’re one of those that politicians and their people usually don’t try very hard to reach - when really we’re the ones they should be trying hardest to reach. Or at least certainly not offending, and/or making themselves look ridiculous, right off the bat.

So as long as you have read this - whoever you are and whatever your opinion is, and even if you’re not in Tennessee - if you’ve read this and will remember the name Stacey Campfield now and in the future? I’ve done most of what needed to be done already. The rest is up to y’all.

So, Campfield supporters, go forth and multiply… well, if you can. The rest of y’all - you know what to do (or not to do).

Time will tell if I’m right or not, but I really do sincerely believe Stacey Campfield is blogging himself right smack out of public office. I guess we’ll see, and there’s also probably a really good reason other legislators don’t do such as he does. (Among other things, they probably have publicity people that very smartly tell them NOT to.)

But whether or not he indeed does blog himself out of office, the carnival/slash/freak show is still something to see. Pass the popcorn, I got a trainwreck to watch.

.

Postscript: For more reading on the Carnival That Is Stacey Campfield’s Career and his multitude of grandstanding stunt legislation attempts, I found this yesterday while reading around the tubes. It’s wonderful, hilarious (though you almost really wish it wasn’t since, after all, he IS supposed to be an elected representative in the state in which I have lived my entire life, sigh) - AND there’s lots of excellent back past links as well. Enjoy!

My response to an e-mail a little while ago:

“You know what? I haven’t got a(n) f’ing clue what Nashville Is Talking about today other than one thing, because I haven’t been anywhere else all day!”

And I always thought political stuff was boring. Go figure.

Late last night (early this morning actually) I asked for extra thoughts/wishes/prayers towards East Tennessee for the Oak Ridge family of GAC/BJ, AT, & their two little boys at Atomic Tumor, as things had taken a turn for much worse overnight.

Very saddened to report that this morning, she is gone.

Even though I never knew BJ personally, I am honored to have been able to get to know her thru AT’s words. As well as so many wonderful things I heard about her, and them both, from others that knew them, some of whom are my own friends, acquaintances. I am grateful to have had this all too brief opportunity to learn about her and her - again, all too brief - life. 29 years old is too soon to have to leave, especially with two young children.

This tragedy has touched so many hearts all over the country, all over the world now. BJ will live on through AT’s love for her and through their sons, most definitely; and through the memories of their good friends and family. But she will also live on through the hearts of all the hundreds, thousands of people who have been witnessing this electronically over there the last few weeks as well, all those with whom AT shared her in his grief and pain. I think it changed the world a little bit and has made it a little bit better place today.

I think it would have anyway, even if it had had a happier ending, if she was awake and with her husband and her boys today instead. I wish that’s how it had turned out. I wish there were more I could do.

AT, their sons, and all their many family & friends could use your prayers, thoughts, wishes, whatever it is you do, more than ever now and in the coming weeks, especially with the holidays afoot. I thank you for whatever it is you choose to do, if you do so.

A quick turn thru some of my usual blog haunts this evening turned up a situation I cannot even comprehend the horror of. Even though my better half is not here with me right now, I am ever so grateful tonight knowing he is safe and well.

Prayers, or if you’re not the praying kind, good thoughts & karma for some folks who could really use it right about now… thanks much.

I’ve been getting a real kick out of reading SistaSmiff at A Whiff of Smiff lately ‘cos - having had roots in both Nashville and Memphis but especially Nashville and thereabouts growing up - she tends to reference a lot of stuff I remember or I know and that’s a kick, but even when it’s not, she’s a lot of fun to read.

The other day she mentioned something I had not been aware of - that longtime Nashville sportscaster Paul Eels, who went on from Channel 4 News to become the Voice of the Razorbacks, recently died in a tragic car crash. Sad news indeed.

Still, in light of bringing up Paul Eels, I must pause to chuckle ‘cos here’s where I’m bigtime telling my age (tho this is an inside joke that only long-term Nashville and area folks will get) - to me, Rudy Kalis will always be “the new guy”… hahaha. Heh, he must have taken over the Channel 4 sports desk in, what, 1973, 1974, 1975? (Don’t tell me, I really DON’T want to know the answer to that.)

(And what’s with all the Channel 4 references on here lately, anyway? This I don’t know unless it was just a portent of things to come with the sad news of Paul Eels, but anyway…)

Onto other stuff…

So I flip on my Last.fm player this evening to see what it’s gonna dish out to me today and apparently it’s (mostly) stuck in 1977-1980, which is all right. A little old school Chrissie Hynde and Robin Zander, with a dash of Debbie Harry and Tom Verlaine thrown in, and a healthy dose of The Clash’s London Calling LP thrown in for good measure over the last 18 hours, and suddenly I’m a young teenage girl with an attitude (bigtime) again. Yeah, those were the days! Not that much has changed.

Cheap Trick - one of the few bands I have owned the majority of their catalog (well, up thru Standing on the Edge anyway) on CD, cassette, LP, and 8-track. Please don’t ask me what an 8-track is, I don’t want to have to kill you. Heh heh.

Anyway, back to the evening’s dish from the Last.fm player - just when you think the whole world around you’s going to crap, you have one of those moments, and I had one of those Greg moments today when “Train in Vain” popped on. I missed my friend and musical twin SO much for a few minutes, but I also smiled, and life is good that way.

By the way, I really don’t dance (especially not now that my feet are an orthopaedic surgeon’s nightmare), but The Jesus and Mary Chain’s “Far Gone and Out” is one of the few that will send me zipping thru the house dancin’ and swingin’ and swayin’ like a mad person. Which is precisely why it is in my regular “house cleaning” mix o’ tunes, it’s great for that. Not that I ever clean house, but it’s come in handy on rare occasions.

Anyhow, “Far Gone and Out” and “Reverence” are both regularly prominently featured on my Last.fm radio lists, which is great. Now if I can only remember to ban Jack Johnson next time he pops up again on my player. I’m always hitting “next” instead of “ban”, and then as soon as I’ve hit the “next” button I’m, like, “DAMMIT!” Last.fm is really cool, I try to listen to a smattering of what my Last.fm neighbors have been listening to at least once a day just to see if I find anything new (to me) and cool I like. (Thanks to Alice Bag for turning me on to it.) You should check it out, you can click the link or click my Last Played chart to check it out.

Now, on an entirely different musical note, I need some help here. And unfortunately probably only Nashville or Chattanooga or North Georgia folks of a certain age - and certain musical taste of the time, i.e., the ’80s “underground” in the Southeast - are going to be able to help me. I did some minor Googling earlier but, unfortunately, most of what I got back was a whole lot of the expected (Johnny Cash) and not what I was looking for.

There was a band that I THINK was from Chattanooga - but if they weren’t, they were from North Georgia/thereabouts - that put out a cover of “Ring of Fire” roundabout 1985 or 1986-ish. The name of the band has been on the tip of my tongue all day but I just can’t get there. What was that band’s name? Anyone know??

Here’s what happened: I got this e-mail the other day, which I still haven’t responded to (because I am just as pathetic as ever about answering e-mail unless you’re my mother or my future mother-in-law in which case you’re probably going to wait a day or maybe two but not much longer since I am lazy but not stupid) asking if the site had died and/or was ever going to get updated, to which I almost replied “Yes” and “Maybe”, but then it occurred to me that that’s a pretty snippy and sarcastic response to some poor soul who’s not had the misfortune (but you LOVED it) of direct exposure to my smart mouth so I thought I’d just shut up and be nice and respond later when I was feeling a bit less KC-ish and just quietly update for now and pretend I wasn’t about to be unnecessarily rude to someone. Yep, I’m afraid in lieu of being haunted (which he always swore he would do, nyah nyah didn’t work) I am instead apparently doomed to channel the only person I’ve ever known that’s a bigger smartass then me at some of the most inappropriate times.

AND I also have become a really big fan of a few web writers (I’m sorry, the words blog and blogger are just like trying to pull teeth without anesthetic for me so I guess I really am old and grumpy now) and I was really wanting to drop ‘em a couple of lines but I was too embarrassed at how pathetic I have been updating here so, you know, I’m attempting to save face and not embarrass myself totally. Although I suppose I should be disturbed that I have kept this on AOL for this long but you know what - I am paying PENNIES for FREAKING TONS of web storage and I have never once had to be preoccupied with the word BANDWITH, not EVER - so, you know, I don’t really care. There’s better ways I reckon but after having dealt with these files on here and all the major renovations and whatnot for getting pretty danged close to ten years now the thought of moving them is as tiring and trauma-inspiring as the thought of moving me after 17 years in the same place… and more on that shortly (heh)…

AND I also killed another computer (of course) in the interim since I was last here and my files are all being held hostage on the old hard drive and I haven’t retrieved them yet, but once I resolved my technical issues with AOL (it was the freakin’ stupidest thing in the world and I can’t believe it took me four years to figure out what was wrong and was by far worse than the 18 hours straight I spent one weekend trying to repair a sick 486 only to find the drive cables were hooked up wrong, tho I swear I checked them a few dozen times and which was my previously most stupid computer geekette f-up in the world ever)… so there was that…

AND Paul Westerberg is on tour again which doesn’t mean a whole lot here since I’m not updating that page tonight anyway but he’s ACTUALLY COMING TO MEMPHIS THIS TIME and I have no one - N-O O-N-E - that can go with me so I just felt like bitching about that.

So anyway I figure there are maybe 4.5, maybe 6.5, people in the world who will show up here eventually and mutter a shocked expletive or two or three under their breath (something along the lines of “daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayum…” - and yeah, if you’re from down here it’s pronounced pretty much just like that) at the fact that I have actually updated after two years of silence. Heck, I don’t even know why I’m here updating when I’m just about dead exhausted, other than the above and the fact that I have extreme stress-induced insomnia at the moment and am sitting here typing, seeing as how I’ve run out of names and other stuff to Google and useless junk to look at and all the other dumb things I have a habit of doing when I’m bored, when I really should be in bed. But, all in all, that’s beside the point. Plus anyone that knows me at all knows I don’t go to bed at a decent hour ever anyway. Nope, some things never change.

But truthfully and seriously… even tho this Graffiti stuff started as an experiment (of some sort, what I couldn’t say) and I really could have cared less who read it or didn’t at the time (eight freakin’ longass years ago)… when I lost my biggest fan (and foe) and his sidekick I kinda lost most of the urge to purge my brain of all thought, intelligent and otherwise, publicly. I dunno, after a while as years progressed here on the Wall, there got to be this cycle where I’d upload a new update, there’d be some smartass (or sometimes downright nasty, or sometimes just a great big laugh) comment in my mailbox the next morning, I just got used to it. Call-and-response, or what have you. So the last couple of times I updated, now lo all those two years ago almost, when I knew that response wasn’t coming ever - I really just kinda started feeling hateful about the whole Graffiti thing. Plus I got busy - real busy - and stayed busy. Busy enough most of the time that now I could use about a dozen clones of me, instead of just the one I was begging for previously…

Then lately - here’s the rub - I’ve been finding myself, when I do have a little spare time - or I’m eating dinner or something, which this is really kind of pathetic but now instead of flipping on the TV while dining, when I do manage to eat which is almost never, I’m liable to go catch up on my reading at Reality News Online (Ken Kellam and Phil Kural ROCK!!) or some such instead or something (since I continue to be a reality TV addict but have become much much much more choosy about what I get into these days) - anyway, I’ve gotten to where there are several personal websites I’ve become fascinated with and read daily. Again as per above - I know, I know, these days they’re called blogs, and now that blog has actually been officially recognized as both a noun (as in, this is my blog) and a verb (as in, to blog), I should be saying that what I’m doing is blogging rather than the ancient dinosaurish updating my Graffiti Wall because the latter now sounds so old-fashioned - but give me a break, I’ve been doing this for eight years now so, yes, in the world of personal weblogs I suppose that makes me old-fashioned. I am old and I’m grumpy, leave me alone.

So anyway, I am highly addicted to reading up on a few, like that of former Real World-Miami cast member Dan Renzi (who was hilarious back then on MTV and is even more hilarious on a daily basis now - I adore this guy), whose blog in turn introduced me to one belonging to this cool chick named Brittney, which at first grabbed me because of the Sparkwood & 21 reference and then when I realized where she is, I find myself somewhat reliving my own disaffected pissed-off youth of my twenties in downtown freakin’ Nashville through her misadventures, which seem to be at least somewhat less debauched and deranged than my own were. Well, unless all her friends turn out to be strung out drugged-up musicians hanging naked off balconies in West End at 4 in the morning and sleeping twelve to a one-bedroom flat. In which case I’d be worried that she is actually my doppelganger walking around the N-town, just 15-20 years younger… it’s already kind of scary that she’s from a small town and obviously dearly loves Twin Peaks. However, she’s not a blonde so probably not, just maybe walking in my ghost’s footsteps from time to time. If it’s true that parts of our spirits sometimes get left behind in places where there was extreme trauma and/or emotion, I’m sure the ghost of 20-21 year old me continues to walk around Elliston Place, pissed off about one thing or another as usual… anyway, I should probably drop her a note or something but then she’d probably think I’m some crazy almost-middle-aged woman obsessed with lost Nashville youth for some strange incomprehensible reason and she’d be right, so I won’t. Ah, the City Without A Subway. Wish for the thousandth time I’d never left.

By the way, I actually had to go up there a couple of weeks ago for a family funeral and that was the first time in a long time I’d really driven right in and around town, not just passing thru, and that was pretty freakin’ weird. I can’t tell you exactly what was so weird because I have given up incriminating myself over past misdeeds for Lent this year, but for those that care driving south on Nolensville Road was not fun and my old route to work down Harding Place was no less sad than it ever was.

Anyway, so back to people that keep their websites updated… then there’s my other new favorite, dooce, run by an expatriate Memphian (well, Bartlett anyway - Bartlettian? Bartlettonian? What exactly do people from Bartlett call themselves anyway?) named Heather who is also somewhat younger than me and is such a fabulous writer I am in tears of laughter and joy and shrieking daily. It’s a total hoot and I luv her daily photos. And her dog looks suspiciously like he might be a relative of Dobie, but I don’t think she got him in Memphis so I guess not…

Well, so anyhow, I got to reading other people’s stuff on a regular basis and kept thinking about this here Graffiti Wall and finally just gave in and came back. Lucky you, huh? You know you missed me…

But really the really disturbing thing tho, now that I’m here, is there is just not THAT much new to report. Oh, I’m sure if I think real hard for a while (which I can’t right now, I’m too tired and too delirious) there are some dormant rants just waiting to be let out and maybe I’ll get to some of that soon, but really, as far as what’s new since 2003… well, not much.

But I guess there is some… for one thing, I have a new job, for the first time in 14 years. It was kind of a have-to situation - no, I didn’t get fired - my boss more or less retired to do something else so I had to by default. I had three months’ notice almost, but the job market was so crappy down here at the time that by the time those three months rolled around, I still didn’t have a new job to go to - but I had two interviews the day after my last day. I stayed unemployed for almost a week this past summer (which of course threw me into a state of near-panic), but by the next week I had two job offers and that was weird - that was the first time in my life I have EVER turned down a job! And, of course, took the other one… still in healthcare but somewhat of a different position than I have ever worked before, and much lower key, less responsibility. Frankly I was ready for it as I was verging close to burnout in the field and, well, sick of dealing with people, patients, doctors, insurance companies, co-workers, etc., about to go postal and all that cheery stuff - so this felt like a good move (and I was right). Lower pay, but only because I had gotten a raise in January of last year - my salary at my new job is the same as it was before I got the raise, so no big deal and frankly - because of this next part - I could have really cared less if it was even less…

Now, here’s the part where you start to hate me (it’s OK, everyone does, even my mother and isn’t there a law against hating your own child, especially when it’s your only one?!?!?)… because… I work at home! Hahahaha! Oh yeah, baby, make noooo mistake - I LOVE IT!!!! I get up in the morning, I take the dogs out, I fix my coffee, I sit down and go to work. Sometimes I even work in my pajamas. It’s really awesome, I love my job and I love the people I work with, and I am spoiled forevermore about traditional jobs, I will never want to have to “go into” work again anywhere ever. The good thing is I can probably stay at this job indefinitely no matter where I may go, since 99.99% of it is over the Internet anyway. And, though I do work a set schedule and have to be online working when I’m scheduled… as far as extra and overtime I can work anytime of the day or night, naturally. I just love it. Very very happy with this. Best decision I ever made and I totally lucked into it coming up when it did.

There are some strange unexpected things