I have probably been getting a little too much entertainment lately out of reviewing the search terms that land people here on The Lynnster Zone, but some of them have been pretty darned funny and many have been just plain odd. I’ll probably start sharing these weekly or something, they have really been cracking me up. Here we go…
“orange hair from sleeping too much”
I sleep a rather ridiculous amount of hours when I do sleep, but no, can’t say that one’s ever happened to me.
“what happens if you sleep too much”
Well, according to this next searcher, you could become…
“insane from sleeping too much”
Oh, so THAT’S what’s wrong with me. Okay! Moving right along…
Next, we have this next group of search terms that has popped up on several occasions:
“how to deal with a freeloader boyfriend”
“boyfriend freeloader”
“freeloader boyfriend”
“boyfriend freeloader”
My advice, as before… kick his ass to the curb!!!
“constantly dreaming about ex-boyfriends”
A phenomenon I’m certainly somewhat familiar with, though I wouldn’t say even close to constantly, thank goodness. If I got rid of you once, I certainly don’t wanna keep seeing you, be it in my subconscious or not.
“the munsters vs. the addams family”
Ah yeah! Verification that my friends and I aren’t the only freaks who sit around discussing stuff like this as if it’s something so important like finding the answer to world peace. KC would be so proud!
Given the fact that I write a lot about music-related stuff here, it’s no surprise a good deal of the searching that brings people here is music-related… first we have the Motley Crue contingent:
“don’t go away mad just go away lyrics”
“motley crew dont go away mad”
One time several years ago I referred to my group of longtime friends as a “motley crew” and ever since I’ve been getting the Motley Crue hits. Then I made it even worse by titling a post with a Crue lyric (sort of on purpose, sort of not). But it’s also not my fault people don’t get the Crue vs. crew right in the first place.
“when you gonna give me some time”
Sharona!
“Bangles married Hoodoo Gurus”
Nope, sorry to burst a bubble for somebody somewhere, but while Michael Steele and Brad Shepherd did date for a while in the ’80s, none of the Hoodoo Gurus have ever been married to any of the Bangles. (And no, contrary to Jeffraham Prestonian insistence, I am NOT Debbi Peterson of the Bangles… heh.)
“tabitha soren ugly pig”
Shame on you… that’s not a very nice thing to say.
“john mayer fan rants”
Uh sorry… wrong blog! (Though I do think his blog is funny and link to it here.)
“meg white’s feet”
Oooh… an alt-rocker foot fetish in the making? I can’t tell you anything about chick drummer Meg White’s feet, but I am unfortunately all too personally familiar with chick drummer Jo Walker’s feet, which is why that search landed here anyway. And Josie hates Meg White. So maybe that kinda counts.
Then we have the local and semi-local music searchers, like the Government Cheese fans:
“fishstick day government cheese mp3″
“camping on acid”
“come on back to bowling green and marry”
“government cheese band”
And more Nashville and Knoxville music searchers:
“jet black factory” when the city sleeps”
“smokin dave & the premo dopes”
Then a note to all blonde, long-haired guys at MTSU… somebody is looking for you! See:
“blonde, long hair guys at MTSU”
Next, of the stalker variety…
“the lynnster zone”
“memphis lynnster”
“lynnster”
Hello Stalker! Or old friend trying to find me, whichever the case may be…
“john cosper memphis”
Man, I have no idea what has become of my old friend Cochise Cosper, but if you do find him, tell him to e-mail me. His disappearance has become stuff of legend among the Memphis Gripe crew.
“Annette Fine”
I haven’t talked with Annette in probably a decade, but I’m sure she’s still around the ‘Net somewhere and no doubt is still one of the biggest Replacements fans on the planet…
“dobie dog”
Dobie has his own stalker! Awesome!
“bunny bread”
That’s what I said.
From the Um, Okay…? department we have:
“decorations with melted lp albums”
“kids in the hall feeding a tapeworm”
Next…
“cat in a basket song”
I don’t know about such a song, but here’s one cat in a basket for you.
“comical laundry pictures”
Laundry is funny? Who knew?!!
“creomulsion nasty”
I beg to differ.
Just plain odd, vaguely weird, and slightly fetishy maybe:
“blob teeth in puppies”
“zombie housewife photos”
“youtube emma peel choke”
Then kinda seriously disturbing:
“swallowed whole cat”
All I can say to that is… ouch.
And last but not least…
“what need to start sewing bez“
Apparently someone thinks one of my fellow NiT bloggers could use a new hobby.
